I have been living in this place of intense speculation since a long time now. Girls hostel has always been an enigma for many especially for the males species. I hear stories about how many “cucumbers” and how many “bananas” have been recovered from how many rooms, or how girls don’t like to visit toilet at the stroke of midnight and are always accompanied by someone, blah blah blah and I laugh. Well, living in girls hostel can be a pain in the ass at times, I agree, especially when you don’t have all those girlish traits ingrained in you.
The noise :The heightened decibel is what you would notice at first. Oh yes.. and the amount of shouting/shierking is directly proportional to any event which has occurred or yet to occur. And the event here could be anything.. a friend’s marriage, a “cute” guy making a pass, a whistle heard around 100 yards away, an “awesome” haircut.. anything, underneath the sun and it becomes event for girls. I should, further, add here that the heights of decibels is also directly proportional to the number of the girls exercising their vocal cords.
The faces : One cant deny the fact that we girls are from Venus. One should see girls in Sundays and it really makes u think.. oh yes, they are really not from earth. Its fairly common to encounter faces which are yellow (multani-mitti), green (cucumber), red (rose) or orange (sandal). Some even go over the top and go green on their head (henna), red on the face and brown on their hands( mehendi), added to this all the colourful clothes one wears, it feels as though rainbow has bestowed all its colour on her.
The tone :Everything in a girls’ voice is so damn musical. I realized this when I was stared at when I used to say a curt and short “HI”. Girls used to ask me if something was wrong.Nah I used to say. And then I realized why they were asking so. A Hi is never a hi among girls.. it has to be hiiiiiiiiiiiiii.. or heeeellllloooooo. The extra “i”, “e”, “o” is a must. I tried it but then my vocals gave way midway and I was left croaking so I usually go for the “mix and match” regime. My “hi” is still a hi but then I quickly follow it with a broad smile. That makes up for the missed I’s and o’s of life. Also.. (guys) never get flattered if a girl says that you are “cute”. In a girls dictionary, everything worth liking is cute.. it could be a goodlooking guy, a sweet puppy, a colourful flower or a lacy underwear.// everything is cute for us.
The rituals :A bathroom in a girl’s hostel is never empty. I don’t know why.. but girls love to take bath..even if its chilly to the core. And its always an extended bath. The average time girls spends time taking bath is 15 mins.. so my 7 mins was actually looked with suspicion. I was glared, stared and even winched at. Now I give 5 mins extra to my daily bath. But however, whenever possible I do take the luxury of not taking a bath. Of course.. this is all hush-hush.
This is how "HE" differ from "SHE" :
ON A HAIRCUT :
1st woman : Oh, My my my..look at you, so you finally got a haircut. And isnt this wonderful? I mean, just look at you. oh you look so good, god damm. The previous style of yours made you look at least 10years older and you are certainly gonna be the flavour of the season, what with guys swooning all over you..I am already beginning to feel jealous…
2nd woman : Yes, you know the other day, I thought I should just experiment with my looks, so I went to the new parlour right up the street, you know the one next to the sweet shop where we last had that amazing big circular thing. Well, I went and I immediately told the hairdresser that I wanted something flirtatious yet sober, something short yet long enough to make me look demure, cool yet hot enough to make guys fall on their knees,.so she gave me this amazing haircut. and I loved it the moment I felt the scissors between the strands of my hair..and blah blah blah blah blah
1st man : haircut?
2nd man : yeah.
ON WRITING A NOTE ABOUT SEX :
woman : Sex is the most amazing thing that can happen to anyone. It is the union of not just two bodies but two souls that are meant for each other. Sex should be actually called love making. Its beautiful, romantic and an essence of any relationship..and blah blah blah
man : I love sex.
