Okay. Excuse me please but it’s the hard-core- feminist inside me playing with the words to once again talk of men. Men, well , what to say of them- I cant live with them, I cant live without them. Of course I love them too. I should therefore add here that I also happen to love flowers, dogs, beaches, worn-out denims, black, blue, red, vodka and many many others.
Men are actually simpler beings. Far far simpler than women. They can survive a whole weekend with just one boxer short, a crate of beer cans and batteries for the remote control of the TV which they, mind you, just flip the channels. This is so goddamn irritating. I mean, why to flip the channels every 3 mins? So men, basically don’t watch TV, they watch what else is on TV. None of the channels catches their eyes except of course, the ones showing football/ cricket/ boxing or those ones that shows scantily clad women strutting their stuff. Saas-bahu infuriates them, commercials bore them, news don’t interest them ( men seem to think..come on .. we already know a lot about whats happening around, just show me someone naked!!) So what the hell should the women of the house watch?
Men think that women talk a lot.. Of course we do. Infact we talk twice as much as men. We have to. We got no choice.. after all we have to repeat each sentence twice. For example : we say, “Darling, lets go shopping.”, the man (who looks as though he has been stuck with a grenade ) says “What?” So we again have to repeat the sentence. We say “Not tonight, hon, I have a headache.” The devastated guy says –“What?” So there .. we again have to say that there has suddenly been a headache. And trust me, guys, its absolutely OK to have a headache once in a while. Sometimes its even better, after all it’s a lot less complicated than having sex. Its far more easier to fake a headache than to fake an orgasm.
Men don’t remember, esp the dates, months, time, colour of the dress, your previous hairstyle. Nope !! nothing registers in that tiny head of theirs. Of course, poor darlings its not their fault also. After all its been said that blood can flow to just one organ at a time. But when it comes to remembering the date of their wife’s monthly period, a husband is an expert. This comes from my personal experience. I (by default) am a dermatologist. When I was doing my internship in Gynaecology deptt, we had to ask the women (esp pregnant ones) the date of their last period. 80% of the women would shout “Suniye ji, mera antim baar mahina kab aaya tha?” and the husband would promptly reply “ Dus July ko!!” And she would nod her head in agreement. But if you were to ask him what she had worn yesterday, then bless them, but they wont remember.
Men choose not to listen. So yell, crib, mumble, grumble all you like but they just wont listen. So save that precious breath of yours, ladies. I, for once, have a trick at hand. If I have to crib about something (which I want him to listen) then I switch on to his fav channel on TV then I stand in front of the set and yell my lungs out. The poor guy in order to get onto his fav show listens to me and most of the time even agrees to me and then I move “away from the scene” with triumph written all over my face. Try this, ladies, it can actually help you get a lot of things.
Though men choose not to listen, but they listen to what they choose to hear. A women bickers “listen there, see all these clothes lying wrinkled on the bed.. you could at least have ironed them and there are still so many stuffs to be washed. If they are left in the laundry bin just like that then tomorrow you may have to go to office naked..and blah blah blah…”. The man suddenly looks up from the TV, pushes his beer can aside and grins brightly for all he hears are the words, “CLOTHES, BED and NAKED!!”
Love you, guys!!
