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Name: |
sumo rhino |
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Age: |
43 years Male |
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Hometown: |
EAST TEXAS |
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Country: |
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Member since: |
Oct 31, 2001 |
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About Me
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees and manage time efficiently. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
I know who shot Kennedy.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I was scouted by the Yankees.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. The mambo is my friend. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. And I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.
I don’t need underwear; underwear needs me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.
I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. In Pamplona, the bulls ran with me.
I’ve slept on snow-covered mountaintops along the DMZ, and my derring-do is the subject of bedtime stories in the Congo.
When I clip my toenails, little men come out of the shadows to collect the shavings. I am the cult of personality.
And, if I had but one chance to whisper words of advice into the ears and psyches of mankind, I’d insist ’’groove is in the heart.’’
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Interests
I am a 3rd degree master of full-contact origami and a yokozuna rikishi in the exciting (though somewhat off-putting) world of naked sumo.
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My Action Summary
| Reviews published: |
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1 |
| Comments posted: |
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14 |
| Diaries Posted: |
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0 |
| Photos Uploaded: |
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0 |
| Ratings assigned: |
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18 |
| Very Useful: |
16 |
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| Useful: |
2 |
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| Somewhat Useful: |
0 |
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| Not Useful: |
0 |
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| Friends Invited: |
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5 |
My Favorites
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