Take it easy, arre nothing's that wrong!
That was my first expression seeing the innocent-looking girl being badly scolded by my former sanskrit teacher.
After 2 years I went to visit my birthplace in Kolkata. From many days I wanted to visit my high school. After coming to Bangalore I never got a chance to go back there. Frankly speaking, nobody from the other side wanted me to do so. Not only my record was quite clean there, there was a clear disliking from their end due to many reasons. So when I called the in-charge and told her I want to visit the school,there was a silence for first few minutes. But then the reply was quite cordial: "Why not,please come! Bring your husband also." Well,my sinister mind already got a doubt,why so much love? But better to see what's in store,after all these years nobody will dare to treat my badly- thinking that I started preparing.
Once I reached their,I was overwhelmed by the flood of memories. Everything seemed to be kept at exact place when I left for the last time. How many years? At least 16-17.But nothing seemed to be changed. Well,some new faces and new adjustments. But I had the same nagging doubt,if the people also didn't change,it will be tough to talk. I never forget those days when these very people tortured me every single day,finding a new reason every time.If you want to read more of it,read my Blog "The Trust" once,you will understand.
Why did I want to go back after such humiliation? Well,it was a sort of revenge,as I thought. They were more than sure,nothing good can happen to me,and my company can turn other students also like me,so finally I got a TC from there. That very day,I promised myself,if anytime,I can become something good,I will return back,holding my head high. Today, was the day.
The reception was laced with sugary talks and warmed with pepper(love with stings,u can say)! As a psychologist,I started tracking everybody's eye movements and soon realized,nothing changed in these 16 years! At least these people are not made to change. They are still clinging to some age-old rituals and whoever doesn't follow are stamped as sinner to them. Chalo,fine with me. But what do they want? That also got clear when they wanted to talk to my husband separately and sent me to look around and meet other faculties and people in hostel.
After I was back,they left me and my husband alone for few moments and I came to know,they represented the need of donation in a very modest way. Oh,so that's it!
I decided to have a look in the hostel and school again,just to shake off the unpleasant feeling. When I was going through the corridor, from one class I heard the high-pitched voice of our Sanskrit teacher. In a horrible language she was explaining the character of that small girl who was in utter shock and disbelief. I shielded myself from being seen and heard the conversation. Gosh,it looked like her linguistic skills flourished only the other way in this years and in front her is a seven headed monster,rather than a girl. My blood started boiling hearing and I decided to make an entry into the class,just to buy some time n save the girl from her wrath!
I asked for permission to enter the class and introduced myself. Hearing my name only her entire expression changed "What do you need here now?" The whole class watched in shock when she just dismissed me with a wave n said,"Now I am busy in class." I gave a sad smile to that girl,kid,I tried to save you. While walking through the corridor again,her words were chasing me, "That's an example of when a person is rotten to the core. And these kind of ladies just rot our society like a rotten apple.Who wants to be like her?" There was a pin drop silence in that class. They didn't dare to ask also what I did. Thank god I didn't have to hear much!
While going back to home after offering a hefty donation(which was never according to their expectation) I was thinking hard. What's the reason? What was so wrong with me that they hated that much? And leaving only my money,my entire presence was a taboo? I got the answer soon. It was my attitude. They couldn't stand truth. They could tolerate asking questions. I never got the idea of accepting anything that comes from an authority without questioning.that was my biggest fault. This I couldn't understand in my childhood days,so I always thought what's so wrong with me. But now it's clear. Some fossils never want to come out in broad day light. They feel comfortable in their dark world made with many lies and false self appreciation. Let them,what's my problem? I have already proved them wrong. I am finally OUT of their vicious grip. Just once,I wanted to go back for understanding the fact,and that has been done.
I felt bad for that young girl. I saw my own helplessness in her. I pray for her,one day she should become strong and self sufficient, and give a tight slap on the face of these falsely concluded ideas. This world needs much more rotten apples,otherwise it will never progress,it will never face the truth.
