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When conscience speaks..

By: gjnavin | Posted Nov 28, 2013 | General | 551 Views

Tuesday, November 05,2013


As usual I was on my way back home from office. My home and office are just 4 bus stops apart. The ticket costs merely Rs.6 - The minimum fare!


I boarded the bus that arrived at the stop and caught the first seat I found. When the conductor came near me. I took out a Rs 10 note and asked for the ticket. No sooner than did he see Rs 10 note then he ordered me to "get off the bus".


I told him, " I don't have Rs 6 change".


He paid no heed to my plead.


Determined, I continued my journey in the same bus.


Next stop came. Few passengers got down, many boarded. One sat just on my next seat.


The conductor again started giving tickets to the new passengers. I saw him exchanging change with almost every passenger he gave ticket to. When he again passed by me I could here the sound of the coins in overwhelming pocket of his. He even gave change to the passenger sitting next to me. Then why not me?


Another stop came. He asked me there, " Kya tera!"(What do you want?)


Me," Ticket?"


Conductor," Yeh maanega nahi aise, Laa de "


He finally gave a me a ticket.


Me," Conductor! Baaki paise?"


Conductor," Nahi hai mer paas! Thaamb Jara!"


While saying so, he gave a ticket to another passenger sitting behind me and handed him Rs 2 change.


WTF!


I could hear the clinging sound of coin.


When the next stop came, I raised a little voice and said, " Oh Conductor! Maajhe paise dya na(Give me my money)!"


Conductor," Detos na! Stop yeoo de(Let your stop come)"


It was not just about the money now.


The bus was approaching my stop.


I stood up and asked again," Aala majha stop, Paishe kadhi denaar aapan? Aglya Janmaat?(My stop has come, When will you give me the money? In next incarnation?


I blocked his way and urged to give back my money.


It was now a matter of myself respect. If now I don't stand up for my thing then when would I? Rs 4 didn't matter to me but his attitude and his behaviour bothered.


I warned him this final tim," Abhi agar Paise nahi diya na to complain karoonga teri main!(If you do not return my money, I'll lodge a complaint)"


He gave me the money back with few taunts like," Chutte leke chadne ka na", " Pata nahi kaha kahan se aajatey hain"


But what strike me was his remark," Ja kara complain. Main Ghabarta nahi. Bahut dekhe ter jaise. aaj tak kuch nahi hua mera."


I got down the bus. Before the bus left the stop, I accepted his challenge and said," Well then, this time it wouldn't be the same. You just wait and I will shoe you what I am going to do. I noticed the number on the bronze batch he wore."


Scene ends


I started strolling towards home.


Standing on the crossing in the middle of the street, while the cars and bikes honked and passed on both sides of me, I thought, "let it be! Why take pain to go and complain? He is a poor man! Might be the frustration of work or home he was throwing at me"


For the first time in my life, I met my "The other me"


The other me," What about the other passengers who have faced the same embarrassing situation? What if you face the same situation again in the same bus, and if you are lucky, with the same conductor?"


I," He is a poor man!"


The other me," So? Does that give him the birth right to misbehave with others?"


I," He may have a family. He might become jobless"


The other me," Does that justifies his behaviour? Well, even after knowing the consequences he threw an open challenge at you. What about that?"


I," Might me the frustration of workplace or home that he was taking out at me."


The other me," Well, if that is right than even you should do the same to him. Take out your frustration and anger on him, won't you? Don't you have any self respect? Or even smallest amount of sense of responsibility towards society?"


I,"He said nothing happened to him before. So will be this time. It is not going to make any difference. And who cares?"


The Other me," I do!"


I," Whatever! I don't! You go to hell!"


two time the signal turned green and again red. I was standing still on the crossing. I came back to my senses and then finally crossed the road.


On reaching home I changed clothes and just kept lying on my cot. The fan was rotating right at the thop of me. It was maing churr churr sound. Might be oiling has not been done for a long time. I could hear the "peemp - peemp" horns of the car stuck in the middle of the traffic.


Suddenly out of nowhere bloody "The other me" popped up again.


I," WTF! From where the hell you came! Why can't you just leave me alone?"


The other me," How can I? I am you! The one whom you call "The other me". I am, the Real You! The problems of life and the fear of pain has just made you forget about me. I am your conscience!"


For a moment I just could not hear anything. Not even the sound that we hear in utter silence. Numbness took over my fingers and toes. I was just lying like a dead- Am I dead?


The other me," No you are not! But if you don't get up and rise above your laziness today, soon you will be."


To be honest, I just wanted to get rid of the " The other me" thing. Quiet irritating it is!. Am I the only one suffering from this problem or even out there somebody else also is? Do you have a conscience too? Does it irritates as much as mine?


I got up, changed clothes again and saying," I'll be back home in some time" to Mom, I left my lair. Whenever frustrated, I like to walk around and with that intention solely, I stepped out. But did not know how I ended up in the Bus depot in my area.


I met two young policemen waddling in depot. I asked them," Where should I lodge a complaint against misbehaving conductor?"


Both thought for some time, and then one of them suggested," I think you should lodge an FIR in police station"


"?"


I moved ahead and came across the BEST canteen. It was a dirty place. Believe me, it was like swachchalayas. I preferred not to enter.


There were conductors and drivers along with other non uniform workers eating their lunches and snacks.


The old wall clock ticked to 9 pm. I asked the same question through window the two uniform guys sitting nearby," Where should I lodge a complaint against misbehaving conductor?"


they said," Kai Jhaala?(What happened)"


I got carried away in my emotions and told the whole story.


One of them said," Arrey! chutte ke liye machmach hai(Common problem of change)" and continued his food showing disinterest in my issue.


The other one looked a little concerned. Might be he have come across such a situation in past.


He said," Zaaoo dya na. Kashala Traas gheto aapan. Usko Bhi taklif hoga, aap ko bhi"


I think both of them were conductors too.


They tried to instill fear in me," Aapko jahan se bus E-start hoti hai wahan jaa kar kehna padega"(You have to go to the depot from where the bus starts). Ticket hai kya?(Do you have the ticket)"


I moved even further and found this barrack where two blue uniformed uncles were witting. They gave me the final piece of most important information," You have to register the complaint today itself".


It was 9:15 pm.


I thought," let it be! whose going so far all upto from where the bus E-started"


The Other me," Lazy Fellow"


I," Hey don't call me lazy OKhayy!I atleast tried. I have to go back home. Its 9:20pm. I am dead tired."


The Other me," Lazy, Lazy, Lazy, Cow! You are a lazy cow!"


I had no other option when some body challenges And I am Lazy? No! I am not! Now I'll show you!


The bus's started from Santacruz Bus Depot. I remembered the buses parked outside the station in west.SO I took a train and though it would be quick.


Reaching there I came to know another story. Now the stop near station is not santacruz Depot . The actual one is 20 min away from there. I was tired.


I thought lets go back now.I have come too far.I am not getting even a Rickshaw(I just asked one). I must head back.


The Other me," That is the point now! You have come so far and now it is just few minutes away and giving up? See I told youm you are nothing but a Loser. LOSER! LOSER! LOOOOSEERRRRRRRR!"


I could not stop the grunt.


I turned back and now started asking every rickshaw driver, whether empty or with passenger," Depot?, Depot? Depot?"


The shocking thing was, not even a single rickshaw driver knew about it existence. How can it be? Well Even I am thinking of the same.


Finally, One Rickshaw driver knew where it was but even he refused to go. Why the people refuse a customer who is willing to pay? Well, today was the day for the conductor. Rickshaw Driver, well some other day!. At least the driver told me how to go!.


On going a little ahead I thought I should consider my mom's teaching " When you don't know the way to a place, go on asking people at every 5 steps" She made me do it literally when ever I went with her .


When I asked a fruit vendor, " he told me almost a totally different route!"


Which way to follow now? I preferred to follow the vendor because most of the rick drivers did not know the way so I assumed that even that one was lying.


First right- first left-then right-then straight-straight-straight


I put my faith in the vendour and moved ahead. I soon found an empty rick. I asked him and he started day dreaming. Before the driver could murmur any thing, I jumped in the rick and said," I'll show you the way"


First right- first left-then right-then straight-straight- What? A signal! The rick driver kept the rick on the right with the vehicles which wanted to go right. I enquired," Where are you heading? We want to go straight?


He said," Airport Jaana hai na aapko"


WTF I am doing in this world filled with bunch of idiots. Wasn't I clear when I said, I want to go to depot and I'll guide you through the way?


Truly speaking even I was not sure whether the depot is ahead straight! I have come far and have not seen any signs of it. The vendor said 5 min walk. Well it has been 5 min in rick now!


I thought let's just go back. It's already 9:45pm. Mother would be waiting. I am hungry.


The Other me," Look there! The bus! It's heading straight. Follow it!"


Finally the bus lead me to the depot.


Phew~


A sigh of relief!


On the entry I found another two blue uniform guys sitting in the lair. They tried to shoo me away too by saying," You will be called and you have to come again"


"How many times?", I asked


No answer


"When would I be called?"


"Do you have the ticket?", The officer cross questioned.


"Yes here it is" and I started searching it in my wallet.


Where did it go? Did I forget? Oh I paid to the rick drive. Did it go with it? Did it fall off from the wallet? Now I lost the ticket. I must go back now. Whose going to come again also for the hearing.


The Other me," You kept it in the back section fool!"


The officer gave me a receipt kind of book.


In there I saw more complaints like mine. Not one but many. And then, I realised it was not a small problem. I waded through the book till empty page came.


Few words that I remember


" I asked- ticket- change- Rs.6 - Lies - Did not- Sorry. Is it enough - Good- forgive-again- I told."


Well That sounded something just like mine.


The page had headings and filed names in marathi, but all of the - I should say most of the(I might have skipped few pages) pages were filled in English. Do you know what that means? Only educated complaints. The remaining don't have the guts or majority goes un registered!"


Taking reference of the last few ones I filled the fields. While filling I came to know that the ticket also carries the bus number, route number and the conductor's id number on it.


And well while I returned back home, I felt content and proud of myself. I did something good. I just made an attempt to bring a change in what's going on around instead of just nagging about whats wrong going on in the system. That is an awesome feeling when you feel like a responsible citizen on country.


It was 10:40pm when I reached home. I thought my mother would shout at me knowing what an idiotic thing I have done for such a lame thing! Bur she didn't though she passed a remark regarding that. Well that was good. If not encouraging at least it was not demoralising!


I searched through my contact list to find my conscience number. I wanted to tell me, "Look I have done it!" But I found it not!. Disappointed, I looked up! I was in front of the mirror. I saw myself. And I saw that light in my own eyes. I saw that self respect. And Saw a person freedom of repent like before. I find peace in there which was lost since quiet a long time. I realise its not just because of this one situation. I have not just stand up against just this situation. But against all those, against who I could not in the past.


I slept that night like never before.


But once again, my conscience woke me up!


The other me:" Great job buddy! But don't you think you must share your act of bravery with others"


I," You are exaggerating! It was no bravery! It was just."


The other me," .standing against all odds! Isn't it. If you can share all the bad you did with the world, why can't one good thing you did too?"


Right now as I am typing, you know what my other me is saying to me?


" Do you remember the day when you were returning from gym?"


"Which day?"


"The day when that man was beating up the girl and took her behind the car. the girl kept asking for help but you moved on thinking what can I do in that. Might be her husband. But you kept thinking about it for days - What if he was not her husband?"


"Yes I remember"


" Do you remember the day when you were travelling with mother in bus and the conductor fought with a passenger"


" I can't recollect it well. I just a vague idea I have. What happened that day?"


"It was conductor's fault. The conductor did not stop the bus on the stop and a juvenile boarded while running. It was full moon night. Remember? When the lad who was just a year younger than you, may be 17 or 18 then, asked the conductor for the reason, the conductor started showering invectives and beat him. And then called police and sent him to jail. No body supported that guy. Not even You except one man who was with family of 5 women. The women discouraged the man and then the man was ridiculed by the conductor"


"Hmmm. I remember"


"What about that incident that just happened a month back. You were getting late for office"


About that guy who boarded the bus after me on signal"


" Haha. You remember that. Nice, nice. What a poor guy he was! What was his fault in there? The conductor just started thundering on him. And when he got down again at the signal The conductor started giving bad words. You did not speak up then too"


"Why are you telling me all this now?. Can't you see I am busy. Stop pestering"


" Well I just wanted to remind you that what you did was not something small. But a problem against which very few stands up to."


"OK OK! Just keep quiet. There?. Are you there? "


I think he is gone.


huh~


Well I'll update you of the hearing that is going to happen. I am determined to go. And I would.


But till then, What is your story? Have you face a situation like this?


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