Such a lovely day it is ! It has been raining continuously since a week. I did not have the chance to get wet in the rains. Today being Sunday I thought of stepping out of my lair to enjoy the beautiful climate. I wanted an excuse and what better than helping mother on this Father's day to buy the grocery and vegetables for the week from the market.
"Pant?" hooked, "Buttons !"done. "Mobile ?"ready , "Umbrella ?"Got it! " "Take the Bag with you idiot!" (Sigh) Moms will be Moms!
Finally with a list long enough to faint any first timer, I stepped out in to the pouring rains. It was dark, like twilight. The Rain was heavy enough to penetrate through the miniature holes in my umbrella . I walked along the road towards the market as the drop dripped cold on my shoulders making me shiver. People just sat on below the shades of the roof extension of the closed shops soliciting protection from the curse of the Gods or what I say as the blessings for the sick hearts.
The roads were flooded. Ohhh! I stepped in to get the nostalgic feel of childhood. It was difficult to recognise whether it was the overwhelming gutters or the pouring rain puddles. But who cares? Empty roads on a Sunday morning just looks beautiful.
I took left turn to the lane of our regular vegetable vendor a little before the market. He sells athe things at the least price in the enitre market. He puts his stall on the verandah of his house. Ram Lal along with his two sons- Pappu and one more sits out there battling with the herd of fat women. Through that throng I have to fight and get the things.
When I first came alone to buy vegetables here I was very ashamed and feared of the roaring women. I am a man and how could I just push and thrust the ladies! But that's how it is in the market. You don't need to do anything. The women will push and pull and put all sorts of allegations on you. You are lucky if you don't get beaten up.
It was raining quite heavily. And the shop was flooded with the umbrellas with the fat beauties underneath.
Ram Lal was in berserk. How women buy the vegetables is a scene to watch out for. Believe me there is no creature more cunning than the woman. They try to act as stupid but actually they are not.
I found a man on the left corner of the stall battling to buy the ladyfingers. Ladyfingers was on top of my list. I found some guts seeing him to buy the vegetables. I went close there saving my eye from the pointed corners of umbrella. But the man left paying money leaving me alone to fight in that battle field. Once in you cannot leave. Because there were women behind me too. I bent a little to pick a ladyfinger and broke its tip. It was nice. I asked a couple of times to the vendor "How much for 1/2 a kg?" But he was quite busy hassling with another woman. Seeing that another woman on my left just picked up a cucumber and dropped it in her basket. She tried to flee away but Ram Lal's younger son Papu Caught him!
" Hey Hey Hey! Paisa Paisa Paisa DE RE. Buddi kahan chori kar ke bhaag rahi hai" The women replied with full confidence , " I did not buy it from your place Ok". I entered the scene to bring justice to the vendor. The women than unhesitatingly said," Haaan to Paisa de rahi hai na main . Bhaag thodi jayegi" She slided her hand in her blouse for fetching money and then threw it over Ram Lal' s face saying" YEh Le ! EK kakdi se Marjayega tu Jaise, Bhikhari!". This is somethig that we call "Ulta chor Kotwal ko daate"
Before she could leave the place another black lady just jumped in and then there was Clash of the Dayans. My ears were soured by those beautiful words - Maki $#%^@ Bhen $%^%$ etc etc.
How difficult it would be for RamLaL to run his shop!
I was picking up the ladyfingers when another lady small and young, as she appeared wearing a Veil just popped up from below me. I sad WTF! She did not care whether I was there or not . She did not even thought about her own safety. But I was feeling ashamed of my hands rubbing off her. I stepped back! I just pondered . Why the hell this woman wear the burqah then? Now I was again behind a layer of women. There was this women in front who did not care anything and was bent in such a way and there was another behind me pushing "Arey Chalo! Jara Khasko Aagey". I was trapped!
My mom always says to me " Do not fear the ladies and push and thrust otherwise you won't get to buy anything in the market" But I just could not do that. Not at all with the ladies atleast!
I left the ladyfingers for ladies and thought of coming to this section later and went towards the bottleguard on the other side of stall where few men came to my relief. I felt like turning to them and say," Thank You! You just saved me". But then it would sound little awkward and so I felt better to keep quiet.
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