I have been a normal child. Extremely mischievous, naughty, been slapped by teachers a zillion times, robbed money from my mom or dad's purse, never did my homework on time, copied during exams, cried for additional pocket money and the latest video, felt embarrassed to be around with my parents when my friends were around(quite normal for boys growing up).Okay - The fact is that this is quite normal. Growing up has to be about throwing tantrums around and being that someone who your parents least expected you to be!!!To me that's a normal upbringing. Not the one who has always come first in class and topped all exams!
Also I have been quite ruthless. Been arrogant! Oh Yeah - All parents end up saying that "You will one day realise the value of money when you earn it" Yup I did! When I lost huge sums in the stock market and shorting call options!!! (for those unaware- shorting call options when the market goes up results in potentially unlimited loss!!!)
In fact been so ruthless that when I used to meet your mom-dad on the streets, at times, I would have ignored them. Or maybe stopped by just to ask for some extra pocket money. And like many kids growing up - Now here I mean normal kids who have been not the "God fearing" kinds, was embarrassed when my parents were around.
Probably the reasons were evident - My dad was always physically weak in rather suffering from his first paralysis attack. I never said "My daddy strongest". Shied away from him and never spent much time connecting to him and his struggle to bring us up.....Used to crib on his honesty and sincerity and kept complaining about how these virtues are no longer important.
Today, I have worked for a good 6 years, earned my living, bought my own luxuries in my terms. Saved a bit for the future as well. Went out in the heat and earn a living, traveled the Mumbai Locals to reach office, and suddenly - (I hate to say this), I feel I have grown up.
And it is Today for some reason - I feel proud when I stand next to my dad. My 6ft4" giant frame feels much bigger when my Friends see me with him. I feel big, grown up! I just feel proud and even more, especially when my dad asks for my hand as support for him to get up. I feel arrogant again - Because of my strong arms that he toiled and made them what they are. Feel like an achiever when he looks for my hand, my arm while getting up, while walking, while taking the stairs, while eating. This beast like frame of mine becomes even bigger and stronger when he clutches on to my shoulders to use them as support. The feeling of his frail and weak arms makes me realize - My daddy is the strongest.
At several points, I wonder, ageing parents can be made a liability in our society. Many children could easily ignore their need for help and just compensate them which unfortunately happens in our society. So why is it that many still have that shoulder to rest on? It's somewhere implicitly has to do with values.
Today - I am not embarrassed of being around with my dad. Feel proud when he quietly picks my hand and looks at the palm and searches for how many kids I would have. Somewhere down the line, at the back of my head, it does make me realise quite strongly as to how hard it was for him to have brought us up. I earn my money today, and I realise the value of it.I realise how painful the struggle was...More so I realised another important thing
That is "Respect" - My dad wouldnt have made a lot of money, but today it is the respect for his values that he stood for, which in its own ways have earned my admiration for which I give him back in the least possible way. Those values that I laughed at is what has given him a son(may I say proudly) who will take good care of him. Will be there to listen to his stories and his life, will be there to fill that lonely void lot of ageing parents feel.
I was always tall - Today I feel tall. I feel happy in this world filled with manipulation and the rat race we are part of, I was of use to someone important. That I was their support, and that I was their walking stick.
