May I have the attention of the management of Manipulative Productions Limited, please? My name is Ummeed Prasad and I am here to be an actor. I have been following the happenings in the film industry since 5 years & I am confident that I possess all the qualities required to be a successful actor. My films will click.
Sirjee, please note the following points:
Once you sign me for your next film, I will ensure that half way through the shooting I’ll do something silly to attract the attention of the media, which will bring the film in news.
Then a fortnight before the release of the film, I will personally go to the Spastics Society of India to meet the children, needless to say that the heroine will be with me. Please keep the media informed in advance because they will have to give excellent coverage to our visit.
A couple of days later, we’ll have a press conference to bring awareness of AIDS among people. Please arrange some college students to join us in the action.
We’ll also attend 2 or 3 reality shows being telecast of TV, so that the common man can watch us, as we promote the film during the episode.
Sirjee, in the world of Prepaid and Postpaidservices we'll organise a paid preview on Thursday with all media invited and then on Saturday the paid reviews should be in print to pull the crowd to the theaters.
Monday we’ll declare the film as a commercial success, you have a reputable banner & there are crazy people on net ready to argue among themselves about the result of the film. Some calling the film a flop while the others hell bent to call it a success. You’ll be amazed to see the figures that they’d be discussing.
What is your opinion about my homework, sirjee?
“We hope you know how to read? Please read this loudly” – a question followed by an instruction from the management was thrown at Ummeed, as they handed over a piece of paper to him.
Ummeed began to read, “Last week's release, ‘I Am Tom - I am not a Rat’ lost steam from Monday onwards after doing well over the three-day weekend. Collections showed a drastic drop on Monday and the film may face a tough time ahead.”
“What is your opinion about this Ummeed? This is the report of a much hyped film where the producers, director, actors left no stone unturned to promote the film but look at the final result. You must have followed the film industry since years but how closely have you followed the taste of public? You can do whatever you want to do to promote your film and to stay in the lime light, but the ultimate decision lies in the hands of aam aadmi. It’s him who decides the fate of the film at box office.”
Written Without Prejudice - this is just an imaginary piece of work and any relation (if found) to any happening is just coincidental.
