The best of women can be a drain on your patience.
And we are talking about the Creme de la Creme (Cream of the Cream) here. Yes, we are talking about firebrand Feminists (henceforth referred to as the Womyn). The rest of the Cream can continue being Women.
Why Womyn ? Think most of you would be aware of this. It is now "Feministically" incorrect to refer to Women as Women. Women ko women nahin kahenge to kya Dayen kahenge ?No, the word Women is derived from Men, which the Womyn find derogatory. They prefer to call themselves Womyn. So Womyn in their spare time (and they have lots of it) have argued against the use of gender-specific language, which in their opinion implies male superiority or reflects an unequal state of society.
To start with, one Wymyn (yes thats the singular but still a handful mind you) suggested that the word "She" had a "He" inbuilt in it and so was derogatory. She suggested that we had better use words like “They” which dont refer to either He or She. But there were other Womyn who were determined not to be left behind. They said that the word They again contained "He", so the word to use instead of She should be “Shie”. Somebody even started marketing perfumes by that name. But it didnt sell. Guess there werent many Shies around.
Back to our Womyn. Next somebody argued that the word "spinster" was not an equivalent of "Bachelor" and had more derogatory connotations, But how's that possible, we said. There's neither He nor Man nor He-Man in Spinster. They said while a Bachelor is respected, a spinster is not. They further argued that words denoting positions of power and authority are often associated with men, such as "chairman", while words denoting positions of lesser prestige are often associated with women, like "waitress". Now, arent there 100 waiters for every waitress ? And I thought we always said "Ladies & Gentlemen" and "Mrs & Mr". Isnt this a show of respect ? No they say, while Mister doesnt disclose the marital status of Men, the titles Mrs (and Miss) indicate a woman's marital status and hence her availability.
They have suggested that instead of Mrs/Miss, we should now use Miz/Mz to hide their marital status. So the good news for most of us wont last, I suppose. With a change in title from Miss to Mz., they would stop being available anymore. Similarly, Businessperson instead of Businessman and Nurterer instead of Mother ought to be used. This is not to be limited to pronouns. Its to be followed in respect of Titles too. So Rosemary Johnson should henceforth be known as Rosemary Johndaughter and Neha Thakur as Neha Thakurain.
Again there are Womyn who are more Womyn than other Womyn. They want equality. So they have suggested that names should not have any sexual connotation. But how's that possible ?, you ask. Easy, names should be Unisexual. So in India, you can have a choice between Nehal no.74680347 and Suman No.34790776.
But wait a minute. Do I look like I'm in the business of establishing gender equality. There are other types of living beings that our language might treat with superiority/inferiority. Are these Womyn suggesting that I should change Dog to Dawg and Pig to Pyg because both these words have interalia derogatory connotation in the dictionary ? Should I go and "Find & Replace" all occurrences of the phrase "Sexual Intercourse" with "Sexual Communion", just because the Womyn find this usage too Utalitarian and hence derogatory.
Womyn have solemnly suggested that History is a discriminatory word and gives the impression of His-Storyand notHers. So they want schools to teach Herstory. Fine with me but what would the syllabus be ? Surely they are not suggesting that a PhD in Herstory would be reading a 5 page booklet while her counterpart in History struggles with thousands of pages.
I'm just as pissed off with the superiority complex of God... So lemme change it to Gawd….
……Ah, thats better. Now I feel I am equal !
