Date - Sometime in January Venue - Race Course Road, New Delhi
Occasion - High Tea
Participants - Our PM with his coterie and President of USA with his delegates
The participants are all introduced to each other. They exchange pleasantries and take their respective seats around the table.
President - Mr PM, why are you so glum?
PM - Its been eight months and I havent done a thing. The people and media are asking me questions all the time and I am at a loss on what to say:-(
President - Well, I have been in your situation for six years now. Its not as bad as you think. You just gotta keep rotating the bottle.
PM(coyly) - Bottle? Hush.not here, its too risky.
President - What you are you talking about?
PM - Passing the bottle in rotation. Thats what you said, isnt it?
President(getting the import) - no.no.I dont think you quite understand.
PM(winking at the President) - yes yes I understand it alright.small milaate jao, large banaate jao.eh.what do you take us for?(aside to the Bureaucrat) kyun Guptaji, theek kaha na?
President(exasperated) - Houston, we got a problem here. Mr. PM, do you see that bottle in front of you?
PM - Why yes, I sure do.
President - Then describe it to me.
PM - Well its a bottle of mineral water, the label reads Kingfisher PREMIUM packaged drinking water.
President - Well done, now rotate the bottle by 90 degrees and describe what you see.
PM(rotating it and thinking hard for a moment) - ummm.the front part of the label isnt fully visible now but I can see through the translucent label that the bottle is half full.
President - Excellent. Now rotate it by another 90 degrees and describe what you see.
PM - It says the'King of good times'.manufacturing details are also given, etc etc.
President - Bravo! Now lay down the bottle on its side.
PM(getting impatient but doing as told) - yes, it isnt stable anymore and has a tendency to roll.but whats the point of all this.?
President - Mr PM this is a simplistic demo of how we solve all our problems. And I believe its a universal'solution' that can be applied anywhere in the world. This is the analogy all modern economies are surviving on.
PM(pausing for a moment) - Mr President, I'm not sure I understand.
President(smiling) - Simple. If you dont have Solution to a problem, this is what you do.rotate the bottle. I'll give you another example. What do you do to win a seat in the election? You tell the people that they need a flyover .and you promise to build it, isnt it?
PM - Yes. But what if the flyover is already there .?
President - You promise to build a wider flyover! PM - But what happens in the next elections?
President - You tell the people the flyover is weak and promise to remake it.
PM - And the next time?
President - You tell the people the flyover is creating problems for them and promise to remove it. In a nutshell whatever the issue, you promise to challenge the status quo to improve the situation. Its just like repackaging, reformulating or reprinting a toothpaste to make it sell or revamping your administration/office everytime to give the feeling that you have done something new! Simple, isnt it? The PM gazes on admiringly.
President(looking at PM)- Houston, do you copy?
PM - No no. I dont drink coffee, it has harmful chemicals. I only drink juice. PM(aside to Bureaucrat) - Guptaji, yeh 'Hooston' kaun hai.? Kahin koi khatarnaak aatankwaadi to nahin?
Bureaucrat(smilingly) - Arre nahin Sir, jaise hamare yahan Burra Babu hota hai na. waise hi inke yahan Houston hota hai. usko yaad kiye bagair yeh log kuch bhi nahin karte:-P
President(repeating his words slowly and sounding even more accentuated) - No.No. I repeat, Houston, do you'kaanpi'?'kaanpi' as we do in schools or colleges?
PM(blushing) - Yes, we also copy in our schools and colleges. But how do you know?
President(exasperated) - Nevermind.
PM(all his bulbs lit up by now) - Mr President Sir, I just cant thank you enough. You have taken a huge burden off my chest. But tell me, how do you guys come up with such fantastic solutions to all your problems? We also sit with the bottle but never manage to figure things out the way you do.
President - Houston, dont just sit with the bottle. ROTATE IT!(PS - Inki firing me to lag gayi desh me Fire.shukr hai yahan lage hain Havells Wire. Wires that dont catch fire. Thank God:-P)
