I first met Gokul when I was twelve in the early nineteen seventies. He was about 5 years my senior in school and resided in the same Boarding as I. Gokul impressed me at first instance with his bubbling energy and everlasting smile and his intelligent talks. Being much junior to him I could not be his peer but used to come across him occasionally.
As a teenager Gokul was always restless and dreamed big. Coming from a humble farming background he wanted to do well in life. He completed his Schooling with General Mathematics as one of the subjects, hence could not procure admission in a technical school. He did not wish to give up and joined in a private Matriculation course through the Osmania University and rewrote all the subjects with Composite Mathematics and passed successfully. Gokul then managed to join a three year Polytechnic course in Electrical Engineering He did odd jobs to supplement his livelihood. I remember he drove an autorickshaw too for sometime.
Time moved on, I completed my schooling and moved on to Delhi from Hyderabad to my maternal uncle’s house to study my plus two higher education. Two years later when I returned to Hyderabad, I learnt that Gokul had completed his course and moved to work in Jordan along with Jerome a common friend between me and Gokul.
I completed my graduation in the meantime and starting working in a bank. A few years later in the late eighties I once again met Gokul. He had in the meantime come back to Hyderabad after earning some good money in Jordan. He started his own business here as an entrepreneur with Jerome as his partner. Between them they had about 20 workers under them.
I once ventured to visit Gokul in his office. I saw that Gokul still carried his same smile and dynamism in him. He was an intelligent company and I liked talking to him. But I observed that he had became too much of a perfectionist. He was too exacting and demanding of himself and applied the same standards on his partner and workers too. I began to worry about him since I understood that humans are imperfect and Gokul was heading for trouble. But Gokul was overconfident and I could not speak out my thoughts to him.
Another couple of years went by and one day from Jerome I learnt that Gokul had gotten married a few months ago but his marriage had failed within a month since his wife could not live upto his perfectionist standards. A few months later Jerome split with him and workers started leaving Gokul too since they could not bear his intolerant ways. He would sack an employee for a single instance of unauthorized absence or late coming.
I met Gokul in one of those days. He looked tense and overworked but still spoke with the same restlessness and overconfidence. I was worried but felt helpless and hoped he would recover and do well.
About three years ago I got a call from Jerome one evening. He broke the news to me that Gokul had died suddenly a few days ago. I took in the shock and learnt that he had become sick and lonely and lost a lot of money in business. He had died a lonely man in a friend’s house.
As time goes by I remember Gokul very often. I remember his smile, his bubbling energy and enthusiasm. I wish he had not been so demanding with himself and with people around him. I wish he had been more kinder and gentler with himself. I wish he had laughed more often with his family and workers around him. I wish he had enjoyed life better. I wish he was alive again.
