Trying to fall in love…..
How do you do it? How does it work?
It doesn’t work for me.
Giving a relationship a certain name and expecting love to bloom into it!!! Does it work that way?
You cannot choose love. Love chooses you. Love cannot be expected. You cannot make love come your way, if it doesn’t want to. Love doesn’t come your way, if you have a set of rules for it. And even if it does, it won’t stay because love doesn’t like to follow any norms.
Can love really be caged into a marriage and kept there unhurt and undestroyed? I don’t think so. Love cannot be caged. It just flies away at the first hint of manipulation. You can’t fool love into staying. It’s a free bird. If you think you have made it stay, you are fooling yourself.
In love, if you lose your identity, it isn’t love. It’s an adjustment. What will you love someone else as, if you are not yourself? And what will that special someone love you for if you are not yourself. The first rule of thumb for a successful relationship is ‘Being Yourself’. It’s a ‘Take it or Leave It’ situation. After watching all those mushy movies and overdramatic daily soaps, if you think changing yourself for love is romantic, you have a pretty messed up idea of romance. You are just being too harsh on yourself. How much would you change yourself? Would you like to live a life of somebody else? If you would, you don’t love yourself.
Love doesn’t ask you to change, marriage does. Love doesn’t ask you for adjustments, marriage does. Love doesn’t ask you to alter all other relationships you have grown over the years, marriage does. Love doesn’t ask you to stop doing things you would like to, marriage does. Love doesn’t ask for explanations, marriage does. Love doesn’t come with guarantees, marriage does. Love doesn’t believe in boundaries, marriage in itself is a boundary. Love doesn’t ask for social acceptance, while marriage is just a stamp of social acceptance. Marriage is nothing but a conspiracy by the society.
You think you’ll get married and it would be a happy ending. That happens in movies, pal. That happens in fairy tales. When it comes to reality, marriage is just an appropriate ending to happiness. It isn’t that marriage is all thorns. Marriage can be beautiful only if it’s not about adjustments but about understanding. It could be beautiful if you let your partner live his / her own life according to his / her will and you live your’s. That line about two lives becoming one in marriage is incomplete. Lives do become one in love but that is without losing themselves. Love breathes in freedom. You cannot suffocate it and expect it to stay alive.
If we try to generate emotional / psychological / social or any other boundaries in love, Love can be complicated. It can be quite simple if we follow a simple motto ‘Live & Let Live’.
