Recently I came across this question on Rediff Q & A. Couldnt help giving my point of view on this. Just wanted to share it with my friends on mouthshut.
Q. Is the western culture responsible for failed marriages in India?
Western culture cannot be blamed for every eye opening change that happens in India. Failure of a marriage has got nothing to do with Eastern or Western culture. We cannot term culture from one part of the world bad to prove the culture from the other part good. We have this very wrong belief that once we are married, we have to be in it no matter if we are happy or not. A marriage of 40 years can be more painful, depressing and suffocating than a broken marriage of 2 years, if the people bound in it are not happy in that relationship. It's even more unsettling to think that so many people must have lived through failed marriages through out their lives, just because they didnt have another option due to pressures from their fearfully respected societies.
Marriage is about the compatibility between two people. If two people don't find their relationship working, they can give their best in trying to make it work. But if they find that nothing is working, it's always a better option to part ways. Their time and energy can be invested in a better relationship. We, in the name of Indian culture have always thought of divorce as a taboo. The first question that comes up when a man or a woman tries to initiate a divorce is, "Log kya bolenge?" (What will people say?") Well, people say a lot many things but not even half of what they say is related to the happiness of a couple.
It's not necessary that everything that has come along since ages has to be right. Change is inevitable. The traditional norms that don't change with time according to the needs of people paralyze the whole society by stagnating it. Our traditional view towards marriage is no exception. Marriage should be about happiness, not about culture. Culture is a way of living. If culture tries to dictate a person's happiness, how can that person be 'really' happy? If any one of the two individuals in a marriage is not happy, it's a failed marriage. If we adjust to our unhappiness and drag on the marriage through out our whole life, we are lying to ourselves that we are happy and then we start getting better at lying.
Blaming western culture is not a Solution. It's is more of a Luxury of Ignorance.
