Not every time, but mostly my taste for characters in movies is the weird and the whacko. Serious or romantic characters though well written, well enacted, don't interest me as much as. These are crazy, whacked out and otherwise deranged, depraved characters of Hindi Cinema that I find unforgettable. In no particular order:-
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No namuna, Straaaiittt show! Naannsunss!
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Jaggu – Chaalbaaz – Rajnikant
Jaggu, the taxi driver, is foul mouthed, but in a politically correct manner. Thus he alters normal anatomical usage in his could-be vile abuses. (“Teri maa ki aankh”).
He looks forward to his Sundays so that he can drink during daytime too. (Aaj Sunday hai, din mein daru peenay ka day hai, aaa..)
The switching between his boozard pop-star neighbor and her look-alike, pooja performing, Gandhian twin sister drives him up the wall (“Saali pehle saari pehen ke pooja karti hai, ab skirt pehen ke daaru peeti hai”)
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Oye, mere Hassbaaand de alawa koi meri chaakking nai kar sakda
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Mrs. Lovely Singh – Tabbu – Biwi No. 1
While she is about to undergo whisking by the security prior to boarding a flight to Switzerland, Lovely Singh, clad in a satin tight Punjabi suit, roadside goggles, shining sandals, and a marigold garland (probably her Punjabi relatives garlanded her at the departure and she didn't want to discard it) creates a scene and in her thickly accented Punjabi, declares that the only person allowed to touch her is her husband Dr. Lakhan Singh.
In a twenty minute appearance, Tabu as Lovely Singh steals every frame she appears in. Watch her bash her son to sleep, who incidentally sleeps only when the TV is on and wakes up when its switched off.
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Aankhen nikaal ke gotiyan khelunga
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Crime Master Gogo – Andaz Apna Apna –Shakti Kapoor
Run, Hide, Save your eyeballs, or else Crime Master Gogo might simply extract them out and play a game of marbles with them. Which is his one of his only 2-3 lines in the movie, unless you count frequently uttered words like hut hut tiyaan, whatever they mean.
When I was registering at MS, I was seriously toying with the idea of naming myself Crime Master Gogo. I see now that the nick has been taken. A certain spooky guy I know also prefers to call himself this at times. Such is CMG’s popularity amongst his die-hard fans.
As the name suggests, he has mastered crime. At least he thinks so. He is clad in a Superman-ish outfit (underwear on the outside) and frequently stumbles on his cape which he doesn’t mind being referred to as ‘Gogoji, ka ghaghra’. If he doesn’t get much of loot he even makes do with chillarr (a collection of low value coins). Besides, he intermittently declares that he is nephew to Mogambo and is the evilest villain of them all. This one is a scream!
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Oh ho ho ho, Zara Maharani ke tevarr toh dekho, Neeche aaja beti
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Kaushalya Chachi – Seeta Aur Geeta – Manorama
A gold –digging aunt to a rich orphaned heiress Seeta, Kaushalya Chachi cruelly nips every marriage proposal for Seeta in the bud, oppresses her with housework, denies her meals and whips her on a daily basis. Quite a standard evil character, actually.
But what makes this Kaushalya Chachi stand apart is the loud mannerisms of Manorama.
A parrot-like voice that is now buttery now bitter, furiously rolling eyeballs, flared nostrils, dancing brows are all the arsenal at her disposal to make to you scream with laughter. Her menacing expressions are unsurpassed, horrendously exaggerated and funny.
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Dass ka Tees, Dass ka Tees
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Munna – Rangeela – Aamir Khan
He is a cinema ticket black marketer who wears a canary yellow shirt with matching trousers, white belt and white shoes to impress a girl he harbors a crush on, by treating her at a five star hotel. (“Aaj apunn ka heppi budday hai.”) What follows in the hotel is insane fun. On other days, Munna is as dirty and unkept as can be.
He has many interesting habits of which some are:-
a) Resting his feet on the front seat while watching a movie. When asked to put the feet down, he asks “Tu pair dekhne aaya hai ya pichharr, aage dekh.”
b) Picking up bananas from a street stall, and not paying for it. His logic is “ ek kele se tere baap ka kya jaata hai?”
c) Speaking fascinating English. “ I shocked” - “ Tu kal ‘export’ ho jayegi” (he actually meant ‘expert’)
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So ja, nahi toh Gabbar aa jayega
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Gabbar Singh – Sholay - Amjad Khan
He exterminates an entire family unflinchingly. Kills a teenage boy, the only support for his blind grandfather, like casually swatting a fly. Chops the hands off the inspector who dares catch him. Plays a hideous cat and mouse game with his goons who failed on a mission to loot a village, before killing them in cold blood.
Makes a woman dance on rocks, in the heat, in a bid to save her boyfriend’s life; then to add to the fun shatters beers bottles all around her feet and watches her feet bleed in agony.
He is lechy (''bahut yaarana lagta hai''), has a perpetual bad-hair day, tobacco stained teeth, laughs like a hyena with sore-throat, and sports unwashed for months military overalls.
So fascinating was this character that Amitabh, Dharmendra and Sanjeev Kumar all wanted to play Gabbar Singh when the script was narrated to them. Its Amjad Khan in superb form and Villainy at its Best!
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Mistah Mullotraah! I want you urgently Mistah Mullotraah
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Miss Braganza – Archana Puran Singh – Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
The backgound vocals go “ Miss Braganza Aha”, in a breathless manner, the moment she enters the frame. Miss Braganza is a high-pitched, moronic teacher too lah di dah for herself. For her its never Rahul. Its Raaaahooollll. Its never Anjali, its Aaaanjuhleeee.
Dressed in tight minis in a college where Mr. Malhotra has banned minis but can’t take Miss Braganza to task as she is ooh so hottt. Catch her singing “Mera Naam Chin Chin Chu” in her ridiculous falsetto and her sing-song style dialogue delivery.
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