~~ Women Are Dangerous ~~. Review on Troy Movie

Forever fear the woman. With a swift action she can bring out the best out of a man. And with another swift action, she can expose the worst in him. Revere her. Revere her. Revere her.

~~ The Review ~~

There are some epics that will be remembered forever. The Mahabharata will never be forgotten. The Ramayana is immortal. “The Iliad of Homer” (on which Troy is based) belongs to this league of immortal classics from the purely literary point of view. Let’s ignore the religious beliefs associated with them for now. We will probably never know if they were accounts of true wars. For all I know, they are just stories written by great poetic geniuses that have become immortal in our cultural heritage.

But each of these epics has something in common. In each epic, the entire story revolves around a single woman, whose integrity and sanctity has been violated. Draupadi for Mahabharata, Sita for Ramayana and Helen for The Iliad- don’t you think that is uncanny?

~~ Plot ~~

Greece was divided into a large number of kingdoms scattered about. Agamemnon, with the help of Achilles, manages to bring them under his rule- all but the people of Troy. Minelaus, brother of Agamemnon and King of Sparta, makes truce with Hector, Crowned Prince of Troy, who is accompanied by Paris, his younger brother. Minelaus’ wife Helen falls in infatuating love with Paris and runs away with him. Minelaus pledges war for his honour. Agamemnon had always wanted an excuse to march on Troy.

War ensues. The Greek army is disorganized because it is not a single army but a composite mixture of the armies of several kingdoms. The Trojan Army is remarkably organized. Hector, with his brave force, designs a defence for his city that keeps the Greek at faltering bay for ten long years.

For once, a classic that isn’t predictable. The end isn’t what any fairy tale would have!

~~ Cast Performance ~~

BRAD Pitt as Achilles was Mister Star Attraction. But the big hype of this superstar in the form of the enigmatic Achilles fizzles out disappointingly. Brad Pitt has nothing but the good looks of a tailor’s dummy.

ORLANDO Bloom as Paris was another major letdown. Bloom, with his weak beetle-eyed looks of a shabby high schooler has nothing at all to offer. Disappointing again.

ERIC Bana as Prince Hector was interesting. Poor Eric doesn’t look as imposing as the real Hector must have been. But that hasn’t stopped him from giving out a good performance. But you know, these dark horses always cower behind tailor’s dummies.

DIANNE Kruger as Helen was unfortunate. Helen is the cause of the entire battle. She was the one woman who made thousands of Greeks and Trojans perish like ants under a stampede. And what we get is some Kruger. Bad choice, bad choice!

~~ Screenplay and Direction ~~

No character has been portrayed the way they ought to have been. Instead of looking like the enigmatic and gallant warrior that Achilles was, he was made out to look like a misunderstood reckless mercenary. Paris is portrayed as a vagabond who’s run away with the grocer’s daughter instead of a Prince infatuated in love. And Helen, astonishingly, has been made out to look like a fly- useless and unwanted. What is all this?

If Minelaus happens to be the husband of the woman for whom this great battle his being fought, his downfall would certainly qualify as an important event. But it is brushed aside within a second or so. The chemistry between Achilles and the daughter of King Priam (of Troy) is shown with much greater emphasis. I never figured out why.

Bad direction, bad screenplay!

~~ Random Ramblings ~~

Achilles and Agamemnon are fictitious characters. But they have found an immortal place in history. Agamemnon represents the “greed for power” and the “addiction of authority” because he can go to any lengths to swallow more kingdoms. Achilles represents the “desire for immortality” because his only ambition is to be remembered forever. These are the very tendencies that have continued to come in the way of our peace and harmony! Their characters will remain relevant to our society as long as we remain what we are- hungry for more.

Did you know? There is a solid argument that the battle for Troy did actually occur. Remains of some city, very similar to Troy, have been found. But that is all. We may never know.

On another note, have you ever wondered what is the true genius of poets like Homer and Vyasa? I don’t think it was their genius as storytellers. As days pass by, the world becomes more sceptical of their stories. Yet, Homer and Vyasa continue to claim some respect. Their greatness lies in creating characters. We may forget The Iliad. But we will never forget Achilles. We may laugh at the Mahabharata, but Shakuni is forever!

~~ Verdict ~~

Unless you are a fanatic mythology lover, I see no reason why you should want to watch Troy. There is no cinematic excellence in store for you whatsoever!