The Times They Are A-Changin'. Review on The Times Of India

The Times Of India should, as its name suggests, be an indicator of the times of India. That is not the feeling I get as I read the newspaper though. If what I read in the TOI is a pointer of the times of India, then there are only two possibilities - The land I live in is some other India in some other space and time or I have no idea whats happening around me. I can prove the former possibility using various theories, the odds of finding sense in which is worse than the odds on India finding two good openers in test cricket. While the latter is true most of the time, I do suffer from moments of blinding clarity and perception once in while, like once in two leaps years or thereabouts, which means that the latter possibility can't be taken as a certainty either. There is another possibility though - TOI is not representative of whats happening around us in India.

To be fair(and to make this review lengthy), I should list the pros and cons of this newspaper. The sight of the common man by R.K.Laxman on the front page is a great way to begin the day. The wit of the great man(Laxman, not me) has always found its target with accuracy(mine usually boomerangs right back) as one Sachin Tendulkar who owns a Ferrari will testify. The editorial is fairly good - nothing to write home about. To the best of my knowledge and observations, the paper doesn't lean too much towards any party, unlike The Hindu which just can't print an edition without some attack on the NDA in general and BJP in particular. The columnists(few) of TOI are okay - in particular I enjoy reading whatever Mukul Sharma has to offer. His MindSport is one main reason I look forward to the Sunday edition of TOI. Then there is Wizard of Id, Hagar the Horrible, Garfield, Dennis the Menace, Calvin and Hobbes - just perfect .. spelt p-e-r-f-e-c-t.

In addition to the above, one thing in which TOI is impressive is in its various news strategies and drives to increase readership. I distinctly remember how TOI pulled the rug from under Deccan Herald's feet. When TOI suddenly launched its blitzkrieg of reducing the price, DH was ruling the roost out here in my part of the planet. Before it knew what was happening DH was lying on its back while TOI just steam-rolled the competition with its color supplements(gee mom .. lets paint our home in this shade of magenta), reduced page width(same amount of news but now with more pages) etc. For anyone who cares to know, DH now spends its money on billboards that read 'We are ahead of the Times' - I haven't bought it, the paper or the claim. TOI also has started this new scheme of rating the performance of MLAs by the public. Knowing TOI's popularity, I bet the MLAs are quaking in their boots. TOI also does a good job of highlighting bad roads and non-functional lights. Their supplements related to management, jobs etc are brilliant. What all these pros mean is that TOI probably sees a new addition to its readership everyday.

Now for the cons. Yep, this is going to be one long list(get the popcorn). I will be very detailed and thorough(get the soda). I'll take this review into the comments section - atleast 10 comments deep(kill this guy). Just kidding!(let him live).

Sometimes I get the feeling that this newspaper is confused about its identity and role. Is it not enough to provide the news and analyse it or does it need to do more? Do I expect anything other than 'news' from this paper? I don't. Take a case in point. I am prepared to bet that in the last year there has not been a single edition of TOI which did not have a skimpily clad woman somewhere in one of its pages(99% of the time on the front or third page of the supplement - I am a very thorough reader). I am glad to know that modelling is flourishing in India but I don't need to see proof of that everyday in my newspaper. If I did, I would buy some magazine showcasing all the models in India. Atleast I know what to expect from such a magazine.

Its a shame that a newspaper that showcases a cartoonist of the caliber of Laxman also has a insanely stupid cartoon like Dubyaman. Rarely I have I seen such nonsense been flaunted with such pride. Its almost as if the cartoonist(if he can call himself that) is mocking the readers for having bought the paper and reading the adventures of Dubyaman. These days I just skip that page.

The sports section of the TOI is the worst that I have seen so far. Here its clearly outflanked by The Hindu whose sports coverage is impeccable. To be honest, thats the only good thing about The Hindu. When The Hindu is not talking abt a cricket ball that landed in the middle of a crowded road in Madras, its talking about a cabbage that was seen in a garden in Chennai. Rarely have I seen a paper like The Hindu that focusses on the three C's - Chennai, Chennai and, yep u guessed right, Chennai. I bet The Hindu has a Srinagar edition where it discusses in great detail about the rodent problem faced by a groundnut farmer in a remote corner of Chennai and invites the reader to suggest methods of solving the problem. Returning to the TOI's sports coverage, even DH has better sports coverage.

Another favorite page-filling method of TOI is to cover in great detail some party held in some club in some part of our planet. Knowing which model - turned - cricketer - turned - pilot - turned - DJ is dating which waitress - turned - actress - turned - wife - turned - divorcee - turned - social worker is not something that excites me the least bit. I don't care .. how do I spell that - I just don't CARE.

Recently the TOI has started a series where its showcases men and women who faced extra-ordinary peril and triumphed against the odds. I was expecting something similar to whats on Reader's Digest. One day I read some actor recalling with great pride how he survived some accident with just a fracture and how - hold your breath - he couldn't walk for 1 whole week. Bravo! I was in for another shocker. The other day I read Bhansali go on and on about the tough time he had with Bharat Shah getting jailed as he went about mutilating the epic Dilip Kumar epic Devdas with his own garish and loud SRK version. I don't want to know any more.

What interests me is this parallel universes being created by TOI and Ekta Kapoor led Balaji Telefilms. On one hand we have Ms Kapoor pushing us firmly to the dark ages where everyone loves everyone, except the saas-bahus - they hate each other. We have scheming women plotting to break-up families. We have people who never die and then people who always die and are reborn. We have everyone living in beautiful mansions and breaking into song and dance abt 'pativrata nari','pati-patni','karva chaut' etc. On the other hand we have TOI where the news is mainly who dated whom, who wore the skimpiest clothing, where is the 'hottest' party(believe me folks, its in hell), whats cool, whats uncool etc. News articles like 'How to get ur boyfriend to impress your mom' etc. Every day I see my mom watching those retarded serials and I see that pretty girl across the street read the TOI. I half expect to wake up one day and see my mom wash my dad's feet with water(and then drink it), put some tilak on his forehead and take some aarti(with music in the background) as he sets off for a routine day at work. Fortunately, that hasn't happened. I also expect to see that girl walk around in some fashionable clothing(from page 3 TOI). Thats hasn't happened either, unfortunately....

To sum it all up, what gives TOI the edge is that it manages to be one step ahead of its competitors in terms of innovation and marketing. Though the news is there, its either surrounded by or hidden by thoughtless junk. So far, so good. The future, though, may not see such good times. 3 stars overall, but maybe its time to go for another newspaper.