Feb 22, 2022 12:07 AM
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All I wanted from SBI was a six month account statement for which I tried using SBIs funny app called YONO, probably an acronym for ‘you are on your own’.
Now SBI loves passwords so much so that they have at least 3 types of passwords in the whole user journey like log in password, profile password, transfer password, death by password etc.
Unfortunately, I never used this funny app and was trying to reset my password, clicked on ‘Can’t Login’ which is SBI’s own way of saying Forgot Password, what’s the joy in following industry standards anyway?
It was quite obvious, SBI being SBI, asked for yet another password to set the new password, just like that, no questions asked.
Decided to contact a dear friend of mine working with SBI to see if there’s something which can be done with bribes to get this much sought priceless account statement. A link was provided, which definitely looks like an early adoption of Web3.0 with plenty of whitespaces intended for metaverse elements.
Surprisingly this Web3.0 site made me enter a lot of information at least 5 times while it was reloading by itself for some unknown pleasure, before letting me in.
What was waiting for me after was 3 options.
1. Enter your ATM Pin(who uses ATMs anyway?)
2. Use Profile Password(what password, ok typical cute SBI now)
3. Walk and beg at your nearest branch.
Having no ATM Pin, I thought SBI being so tech-savvy, would have ditched phone banking for WhatsApp banking but I was lucky there was a phone banking number, for this poor old-generation me!
Now, probably your bank works only 9-5, but my gut says SBI definitely has a 24/7 support, immediately called phone banking 18004253800, and madam said ‘this service is temporarily not available’, probably would have been a temporary 7-month glitch, nevermind, machines you know, it’s just normal for them to go out of order.
Let’s try ATM, drove off to ATM and found the pin generation screen, hoping to generate one to use it in that charming web3.0 site, to reset my YONO password, to get a statement. Not kidding, but the ATM worked like a charm in generating PIN, probably the reason why ATMs are SBI’s Namo like he is to AmitShah’s BJP, not sure of the relevance in the whole setup though.
Came home opened my web3.0, just waiting to enter my new ATM PIN. Entered all my details along with my steaming hot ATM PIN just to find a screen which just said ‘OOPS’, that’s it, kind of wrapping my fun day ride with SBI, its ultra-modern tech and 24/7 support.
Love you SBI.
