Jul 01, 2003 11:07 AM
8307 Views
(Updated Aug 18, 2006 11:22 AM)
My fiancé and I were discussing coffee last night as he loves it and I like it but don’t need all the fluff with it. So her mentioned that I should do a review on Starbucks so here it is…
When I moved to Arizona, I had never been to a Starbucksbefore in my life. I didn’t even know what it was until two years later my mom asked me to meet her there to have a coffee or tea. Well turns out it was about a ½ mile down the road from where I was living.
So I think for newcomers there
needs to be some disclaimer on the door, like “BEFORE YOU ENTER, there is crazy coffee talk in here and we don’t call COFFEE, coffee. We have created the most annoying names for the blends of coffee we offer along with the obnoxious other specialty drinks we offer. Oh and by the way, when you order your “coffee” please be prepared with your order so that our “Barista” can get it right.”I didn’t have such a disclaimer and went in blindfolded.
There was talk everywhere, screaming back and forth, “I need an iced decaf latte with soy milk for Chuck please.”“I have an iced decaf latte with soy milk for Chuck,”the Barista maker would call back and scribble something on a cup. It was too much for me and frankly I was getting a headache from listening as well as looking at the amount of piercings one woman at the cash register could fit on her face and ears.
So it was now my turn, “I would like an iced cup of coffee.”
The reply was “we don’t offer iced coffee but I could pour the hot coffee over the ice for you if you would like.”As she said this it was like I had asked for alien juice as no one had ever asked for it before me or something.
“Sure”I said back just wanting to pay and get out of there.
“What size would you like,”she asked.
“Large,”I replied mockingly.
“Oooooh, we don’t use that kind of language for our sizes, see up at the board (as she pointed to a menu that I could barely read) those are our sizes.”
“Whatever you think the closest to large is, is fine with me,”I replied again with even more sarcasm as I was clearly getting annoyed at this point.
“And your name is...”she asked
“Rosey Palm,”I replied.
Then I hear “I Need an Iced Coffee for Rosey Palm. She just wants the hot coffee poured over ice to make it an Iced Coffee.”
The Reply from the Barista, “Okay, I have an Iced Coffee just ice over the hot coffee for Rosey Palm.”
“Rosey Palm, that will be $3.25.”
Now it was my turn to look at her as if she had just drank alien juice, but I just handed her the five and said “keep the change”as I walked away. She still didn’t even get the fake name and I think everyone just really thought that it really was my name. Oh well.
Anyways, I was about to lose it here. My mother hadn’t showed up. I was listening to the most ridiculous coffee talk that ever existed and I just wanted out. I was even close to walking without taking my cup of “Iced Coffee” from the irritation factor. But then there was the call for me. “I’ve got an Iced Coffee for Rosey Palm ready!,”she shouted. I took it walked over the counter and put cream and sugar in it and walked out.
My mother ended up calling and canceling on me so I went through coffee heck for nothing! That was my first experience with Starbucksand what I thought would be my last.
I didn’t know what when I became engaged to my fiancé, I also became engaged to Coffee which in turn engaged me to Starbucks!So I had to go back to that Starbucksseveral times a month and I would get the Frappacino.I still was forced to listen to the irritating back and forth engagement of the cashier and the Barista. And by the way before I forget, what is with 2/3 through your Frappacinothe rest is just useless froth? I just paid almost $5.00 for a cold frozen cup of coffee drink and I don’t even get my money’s worth? C’mon, give a woman a little love here.
For now, I still find myself once in a while at our local Starbuckswith my fiancé as he grabs a cup of coffee. I still and probably will always find their chibber chabber annoying but that’s life.
Until next time,
K Parsons
© 2003
