Spider man was home, all alone…Jumping on his couch! Eating a piece of gum and Watching Tom and Jerry on TV, trying to forget the movie he was just part of. When suddenly the door bell rings - Ding Dong SPIDEY!
‘Damn I need to get that door bell changed! Cant afford to let people know I live here’ he thinks to himself. He gets up fast rushing towards the door; he needs to get to it before it rings for the second time. After this weekend’s debacle, and the public embarrassment, no one, not even Spiderman can stand his name being called out even once, let alone twice.
He opens the door to find, He-Man, Superman and Batman, standing there, He-Man was clutching something with his hands behind his back and he looked mad, actually he looked ready to strike. Superman was almost hovering above the ground, ‘I don’t think he realizes it*’ thinks Spidey. And Batman stood there tapping his feet furiously; he might as well be on stage in a tap recital!
‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ boomed Bat-Man’s voice. A startled Spidey jumped back and screamed ‘Mommmmmmyyy….I mean WHAT?’
Batman:‘Yeah, what the hell is wrong with you…how could you do this to us’
Spidey: Do what?
Batman: Ruin our whole freaking image, you world class idiot!. Superman, stop hovering and come back to ground….!
Superman: Oh Sorry…that happens when some one really pisses me off!(lands)
He-Man(Charging towards Spidey…with his sword): By the power of Grey Skull….I will KILL you….
Spidey: HELP! Stop it! stop it! Or otherwise I will start crying L
Superman: See I told you Batman, there is no use, I told you. All this one can do is cry. Bloody shame I tell you, lets get out of here….and take his Spidey suit, so he can never go out as a Superhero again!
Spidey: Haha I will make another one….(snickers)
Batman: Both of you stop it. Superman please sit down! And Spidey listen. So ok you are the sensitive superhero, a good boy, looks after your Grandma, ok and you LOVE this girl very much. Got all that! Agree with the fact that you have a normal life.
But what is with all the Crying, for gods sakes, yesterday, I was sitting in the theater and as soon as you started to cry people started laughing! ….and NO not the HEHEHEHEH kinda laught…it was the HAHAHAHHA kind of laugh
The laugh one will hear if somebody looses their underwear on the street, the kind of laugh that you hear when someone falls in a tank full of GOO, the kind of laugh when you FART, and everyone hears it and ducks thinking its an earthquake!.it was embarrassing man! Why cry, superheroes DON’T CRY, ok even if you are allowed to; one Bloody tear will do….Why cry enough to fill a whole bucket.and making weird faces! What is that all about?
Ok so even if we forget the crying; how do you erase the image of you DANCING, and not real dancing, the kind that has burnt an image into every movie goers mind to come back again and again to torture them in their nightmares? How could you? The Pelvis thrusting, finger pointing, puke Inducing Dance…Have MERCY!
And what is with the Kajal you wear when you have the black suit on? Are you a Boy or A girl? How about a Cross dresser? ….do you even want to be a superhero? STOP wearing Kajal!
God have Mercy! Why was your hair like that
Spidey: Oh that, that was ‘Chameli ka Tel’ …I saw Raja Babu sometime back, and I loved how it made Shakti Kapoor’s head all nice and shiney, so I bought some and put some on!
Batman: No more, you understand no more! Idiot! With all the crying, the dancing and all the Villians either Turned good, or Dead, this is a Bollywood movies, you even had your girlfriend Dance and sing! Only the Bloody Trees were missing! You want us sued….Do you want Bollywood to know we are COPYING them Do you?
But hey all is not bad; Don’t cry! I love the fact that you faced off with the Goblin and managed to get him on your side and fight evil. I loved the fact that sandman was made evil, but you forgave him and he turned out to a good man, and that you, with the clever use of the BONG! managed to get Rid of Venom….sad that the Pathetic kid ended his life! Ah well…. And all the Action was Marvelous! Kudos ….Good job Kiddo
Spidey(smiling): Thank you! ….now can I have a Lollipop?
He-Man: NO! Absolutely Not….unless you tell us what you learnt from all this fiasco
Spidey(pouting): ok
Never Cry like a baby
Never dance on the Street pointing fingers and Thrusting my Pelvis at women
Never wear Kajal to compliment the Black Suit
Never put ‘Chameli ka Tel’ on your head(sniff), specially not when I am wearing the black suit and Kajal
Most importantly, NEVER Almost make a Bollywood movie!!
Superman: Good boy….Competing with Shakti Kapoor in Rajababu, never do that again! Ever!
He-Man: Yeah man your first two movies were great! We all loved them, so please dont pull stupid stuff out your behind like this movie ever again! Hope you don't forget what we taught you! ….ok! ok! here is your Lollipop…now go on…play…Good boy, Good Spidey…
and for god sakes Change that Doorbell.!
