“Hajmola”, “ Swad”, “Chatar Patar”, “Eno”, “Pudin Hara”, “ Asprin”, “Crocin” are very common names in an Indian household.
Today I have realized why our grannies always ask us to keep them handy. Because indigestion, headache, stomachache can happen to anyone anytime. Believe me…. really this can happen to you too, especially when you are just back home after watching “The movie of the year “– Shabd.
Movie making can’t get more boastful than this. Crap is perhaps the only civilized “Shabd”I could find for the movie, after three rounds of browsing the complete Oxford dictionary.
First let us talk about the sponsers for this barren flick.
Sanjay Dutt’s character is sponsored by the Oscar winning “The Beautiful Mind”.
Screen visuals sponsored by “The Matrix”. Co-sponsers “The beautiful mind” again. ( The difference here is that the irritating, meaningless characters scrolling from top to bottom of the screen are not numbers but alphabets).
Tarrot card reader ( ala Simone singh) sponsored by Zoom TV.
Actually this movie will make for an interesting watch, if seen backwards, the ending is so sloppy that it defies all rules of movie-making, story telling, acting and what not.
Before I start, here’s a quiz for you. Decide which joke is more laughable?
A. “ Ek Sadar Tha” …………………yeah that’s it. That was the joke……Ok I’ll try another. “Ek Lalla ji they”… not laughing still ……Strange! U guys have some problem…coz ex-miss world Aishwarya Ob-Rai keeps giggling throughout the movie listening to these.
B. Ok now read this. A young married wife leaves the house to watch a play with a handsome young male friend (hmmm…!.). They decide to freak out instead. She returns (all wet) at wee hours of morning to find her vexed husband waiting for her. “ Imagine despite her husband knowing where and who she was with, the first question she gets to answer was:
“Tumhari gadi to thik hai na, Antara”? (Is your vehicle all right Antara?). (God knows which vehicle he was talking about)
You are absolutely normal, If “B” makes you smile a little and if you are still confused over how to react on “A”. By the way, in context of the movie “A” is supposed to be the funniest joke of this century and “B” a concerned question from an anxious husband.
Actually someone should ask “Leena Yadav” a similar question . “Tumhari akal to thik hai na, Leena”? (Have you taken leave of your senses?). Why else would she make such a trash?
There are people, who try to do simple things in a complicated manner. For example, trying eating an apple through a lawn tennis racquet.
Leena has proved that she is one of them. She had a read, juicy and crisp apple in her hand (the plot), but that damn racquet (everything other than plot) she employed to eat it through made her debut a forgettable one. Trying to do things Hollywoodish isshtyle caused her movie to cave in.
“Let go”, “Let go” is what Shaukat Vashist (Sanjay Dutt) keeps telling Antara ( Aishwarya). “Let it (the movie) Go” it should be for all the moviegoers.
On a brighter note, this movie has come just at the opportune time for someone. The “Someone” is no one other than “ The Shoo man” himself. Just like the “shoo” man ( Subhash Ghai), who is shooing away the viewers from cinema successfully over last few years through his series of junks, Shabd is here to give a tough competition. I must say it will be a tough battle, a tough battle for the biggest over-hyped movie disaster of the year.
“ May the worse movie win” Amen.
A “Booker’s award” winner, being avoided by the publishing companies, just because his last novel was a failure, reminds one of the Australian cricket team, where you can be thrown out with just one failure. Shaukat Vashista ( Sanju baba), a writer by profession is a genius ( and we are fools , for we went to see the movie), who after facing criticism for not being real in his writings takes a long break from writing and thereafter is in search for something “real”. Our hero however never let himself out of the writing groove, as he practiced typing question marks (?????) to keep his typing speed up to the mark.
One fine day, unfortunately which also happens to be the first scene of the movie, Shaukat decides to be Anu Malik.
Hey no! he didn’t go for hair beads, nor did he start lamenting “ Dhum tara, dhum tara …...dhum na”, he decides to be “inspired”. Inspired from real life. What better subject to be inspired from than women.
So the Bookers awardee sets his eyes on the only distraction (women) around (other than his wife of course!). This other women was his newly married house maid Rajni ( Sadia Siddiqui). But she proves to be a difficult nut to crack, as all the irrelevant questions (tum kahan mile? pyar kaise hua?) directed to her were obviated disinterestedly.
Out of exasperation and since no one else was around, he decides to envisage a women and named his vision as “Tamanna”.
To move his story further; he tries to infuse Tamanna in Antara and let her story instigate his. So after making out with her (eye candy guys!) for the last time perhaps, he starts pushing her for an extra-martial affair.
Aishwarya as Antara plays a college teacher (fashion), finds a good friend in Zayed Khan (Yash), who also plays a teacher (photography) in the same college. A college where, students get to choose classes anytime at their will, where teacher ( Zayed) look like peon and where teachers romance in front of their students.
As Sanju baba pesters Aishwaya to testify her love for him, by having a relationship with Zayed and yet not fall in love with him (poor girl!), he copies the happenings in his book …(Naughty boy!).
We don’t understand how and why, but suddenly Sanju baba ( Shuakat) turns Bruce Almighty and starts controlling everyone’s life???. He makes his wife dance in rain with Zayed, makes her tell lie, makes his entry into the novel and even decides that someone has to die. Give us a break yaar…
Befuddled and all at sea, director Leena Yadav, suddenly decides to wind up the movie. Mercy!
Shaukat (Sanjay Dutt) is shown to know everyone who comes to his imagination, including someone he had never met before in person. But him failing to see his wife Antara as the central character Tamanna is completely atrocious. How Antara managed sudden change in her husband behavior is not understood. Antara’s uninterrupted flirt with Yash, despite not loving him sounds beyond every conceivable logic.
Words of advice and much more........continued in the comments section.
