::: Why Didn't Goliath Kill David? :::
ing Sallu Lallu, his clothes in a few scenes, Akshay Kumar, Priyanka Chopra, Rajpal Yadav, Amrish Puri, Kader Khan.
Direction: David Dhawan
Noise: Sajid Wajid.
Rating: **1/2
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David wants to do. It's believed that the fat, cheery director of Bollywood drinks a lot of water which explains his fascination for the number one. After directing an entertaining Coolie No.1, David Dhawan unleashed such fares in the No.1 garb that the frustrated viewer would wish that he could rewrite history so that he could ensure that David was killed by Goliath.
Which is why it is a relief that Mujhse Shaadi Karogi is not titled as 'Shaadi No.1', 'Pati No.1' or 'Time To Do No.1'. Also a relief that it is much more tolerable than Dhawan's recent flicks.
It was with apprehension that I entered Chandan cinema. I had the feeling that Mujhse Shaadi Karogi won't be worth spending a hundred bucks over at a swanky multiplex and hence decided to visit to pay the rats a visit. Truly, Chandan cinema is one of the few cinema halls which can boast of a larger rat population than human population.
Mujhse Shaadi Karogi is a love triangle, with each angle measuring 60 degrees. At one vertex is Sallu Lallu, also known as Sal(wo)man Khan. The other two vertices are occupied by the two heroes of the movie - Akshay Kumar and Priyanka Chopra. All mistakes made in this review are unintentional. It is not my fault that Priyanka and Salman look extremely confused about their respective genders.
When David Dhawan had a fixation for No.1, he always used to be inspired by 1 film. Coolie No.1 was Golmaal No.2, while Hero No.1 was Baawarchi No.2. This time though, Dhawan ignores all No.1s and No.2s and decides to conveniently borrow sequences from a plethora of films - Anger Management, Deewana Mastana, Andaz Apna Apna, Matrix Reloaded being a few of them.
Salman Khan plays a role which is eerily similar to his offscreen image - a hot-tempered fellow who doesn't think twice before flexing his biceps. He travels to Goa by a train in which passengers do not use the Sleeper berths while dozing off, in spite of being seated in the Sleeper Compartment. In Goa, Sallu Lallu works as a lifeguard as it gives him the perfect excuse to scare the audiences by stripping. He falls in lust with Priyanka Chopra when he sees her in a towel, and out of the towel. The thorn in the path is in the form of Akshay Kumar who shares a room with Salman.
Along the way are typical David Dhawan gags. Humour which is derived from highly unrealistic, melodramatic and caricaturish nincompoops. Yet, mercifully, most attempts at caricaturish, slapstick humour comes off and the movie does not go to the rats of Chandan cinema, er, does not go to the dogs.
An astrologer, a gang called the Eagles, a man who has a new disorder everyday, a grumbling watchman who does not want to stay guard at night because he wants to sleep (pun intended) and a man who is believes that his dog is his son - Mujhse Shaadi Karogi is laden with meaningless, yet moderately entertaining characters.
The movie actually shifts gears in the climax which is shot at the Goa Cricket Ground. A host of special appearances including Irfan Pathan, Mohammed Kaif, Ashish Nehra, Zaheer Khan, Harbhajan Singh, Javagal Srinath and Parthiv Patel add to the glamour of the film while Kapil Dev provides some unintentional humour with his Punjabi-cum-Hindi-cum-English-cum-I don't know what dialogues. Thankfully, he does not ask ''How the pitch is look to you?'' Navjot Singh Sidhu is the highlight of the climax as his Sidhuisms are sure to bring the house down. Love is the condition of the mind in which the mind is not in proper condition.
Other blink-and-miss appearances include Amrita Arora and Shefali Zariwala, who compete with Priyanka and Salman as to who can wear the least clothes.
On a negative note, the loudness gets on one's nerves often. A majority of the jokes used in the film are downright corny, as one laughs not at the joke, but at its absurdity.
To add to the various squeaking specimens in the theatre, another factor which almost made me run away from the theatre was the so-called music of the film. The true mystery of the film is not the identity of the guy who gets the girl. A more intriguing puzzle is which song has the most jarring notes. Sajid-Wajid have composed some serious trash here, simply put. The background music has been conveniently lifted from Hare Rama Hare Krishna and 50 Cent. Can't we have some originality, please?
The camaraderie between Salman Khan and Akshay Kumar is commendable. While Salman Khan acts convincingly, Akshay goes a little over the top, yet displays a great sense of comic timing.
Priyanka Chopra ensures that the audience knows the size of each and every body part of hers. Her acting is ... erm, unexistent.
Amrish Puri is hilarious as Priyanka's father who dotes on his dog and is always at the receiving end of Salman's blows. The dog is played by the amazingly cute canine who featured in the Hutch Orange commercial. I daresay that the dog looks way better than any of the lead trio.
Kader Khan is alright. All his expressions are right out of Coolie No.1 and Bol Radha Bol. Thankfully, there is no Shakti Kapoor as his sidekick.
But the show is stolen by the diminutive Rajpal Yadav. In a double role wherein he plays an astrologer and the leader of the Eagles gang (a spoof on Josh), the Indianized version of the Hobbit makes you laugh by his sheer presence. Watch out for the hilarious jig-like trot in his astrologer avtaar.
Mujhse Shaadi Karogi is certainly not the best film to have come in recent times. But unlike David Dhawan's previous productions, one does not wish to rewrite history and hope that David would have been killed by Goliath. An average fare, it is lifted a wee bit due to the entertaining climax and Rajpal Yadav's rip-roaring performance.
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