DISCOVERY
Exactly a year ago, I had logged on to the net with the intention of meeting a rather special friend of mine, online. Yeah, you guessed it right, I am talking about the one (er, not Keanu Reeves) I have dedicated my Fame Adlabs review to. I waited for the MSN sign-in window which always brings a smile to my face. And I waited. And I waited.
Beep beep. It was her message saying that she had connectivity problems and we would engage in our mushy talks some other night. I decided to retire for the day and went into my room, but the effect of having had three cups of cappuccino (Don't ask me why I had three ... Main aisa aisa aisa hi hoon) didn't allow me to dream about her. I finally gave up and decided to log on to the internet again. Blame it on the lack of having anything constructive to do. Now, I had studied in Mithibai College in the eleventh standard, but had always nursed a desire to be studying in Jai Hind college. So, I decided to search the net for some information on the two institutions.
The first search result said 'Review On Mithibai College by (don't remember the ID) -- MouthShut.com'
Now, although I didn't read that particular review, what caught my eye was the name of the site. MouthShut, which faintly reminded me of the way Sharmila Tagore squealed ''Chuppppro'' in 'An Evening In Paris'. Closer home, it reminded me of my friends' pleas to me to shut my mouth whenever I start describing how much I like a girl called a/b/c/d/ ... (er, the name keeps changing)
EXPLORATION
The first review I had read was a rather immature effort. I neither remember the product, nor the reviewer, but I remember commenting to myself that the articles on the site were 'bachcha (kiddish) stuff'. But, I continued to explore the other areas of the site. I opened up several 'Product Category' pages, only to find a couple of photographs. One photograph was of a lady while the other photograph strangely reminded me of Zaheer Khan. I read some reviews of both the members - meleahk1 and premjit (I'm talking about his old photograph, not the latest one). ''Alright,'' I muttered, ''if I call such reviews 'bachcha stuff', then I probably am still a foetus. I decided to stay on.
THE BEGINNING
I was eager to announce to the MSian world that the next star was born. Er, no, not the biggest star, thank you very much. I decided to submit a poem I had written for my school magazine and decided to add a couple of introductory paragraphs ... Aha, my first review.
My first review might have been against the tide - I had supported Hansie Cronje inspite of him having indulged in match-fixing. But, it gathered merely four comments (at that time) - all of them encouraging, though. I continued writing, though most of my reviews were on films. But I remained a nobody on the site, lurking in the background. I still enjoyed writing, and whenever any of my favourite writers used to comment appreciatively on my reviews, I used to clap my hands in glee, take out a sword, raise it to the skies and scream, ''I have the power!''. Er, I guess I got a little carried away, there ...
THE TURNING POINT
For the first time, I decided to experiment a little. Until then, the only way in which I had been able to make someone laugh was by showing them my face. I thought I would try to infuse a little bit of humour in my review on the topic 'Five Most Beautiful Indian Actresses'. What resulted was a pun-laden review with sexual undertones and a horde of NUs. It got me noticed, though, for the first time, I was added to a member's trust list and someone else's distrust list. It wasn't intentional, but that review spread around the word that there is a lunatic called nikamma1112 on the site. And it also made me believe that I have a funny bone (I guess I do).
SOME MORE NIKAMMAITIES
I guess I am a known face, by now. Monkeys on a human site are pretty conspicuous, you know. Also, add the fact that I have had the honour of featuring in a number of 'Worst Reviewers' writeups. There have been reviews I have taken hours to write ('Dil Chahta Hai', 'Bombay city') while there have been a couple ('Vanilla Coke', 'Overall Hair Maintenance') which have been submitted within twenty minutes. There have been some reviews which I have loved writing, while there have been some, I admit, which have been written for the heck of it.
Although a majority of my writeups have been on films and music, the reviews of mine which I am actually proud of, have rarely been on films. My favourite reviews among my own works are 'Overall Hair Maintenance (Juice)', 'Local Trains' and 'Fame Adlabs'.
CHUPPPPRO
Er, I meant MouthShut. I know I am supposed to review the site out here, but I guess the fact that I have spent a year hooked on to it speaks for how much I love the site and its members. There are only a couple of factors which I feel strongly about.
Rating and commenting
Firstly, the entire rating system is flawed. Often, you may come across reviews which are not on the intended topic, yet you enjoy reading them. They haven't been useful to you, but does that mean that the review deserves a NU?
In my opinion, the current ratings system has plenty of scope for improvement. But eventually, to me, ratings do not matter. I care for comments. I enjoy reading how members accuse me of bias, I enjoy reading the appreciation which comes through ... I even enjoy useless comments which prove that the member didn't read your review (I love these the most, extremely entertaining and unintentionally hilarious!).
Topics
I fail to understand the logic of introduction of topics. While perfectly acceptable topics are rejected, we have meaningless topics which rank specific members and are grounds for a lot of mud-slinging. If MouthShut can add such topics, then will it be ready to accept the topic I am about to submit through MouthPad? The topic is called 'Best Costumes Of Mithun Da'. Er ...
... I'm joking!
FRIENDS, MSIANS, COUNTRYMEN
The best part about MouthShut - the members. There are members who never cease to amaze you with their wit and writing skills. On the other hand, we have extremely noble members who want to single-handedly change the future of our country and other entertaining split personalities who write and comment from various IDs, without realising that other members know what they are upto. Whichever extreme each member belongs to, I love interacting with each of them.
So bang your heads and mark May the 24th as the unfortunate date that the Nikamma was born. And the date he cracked his first century. 401 is the target now. Brian Lara, where art thou ...
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My 100th review, so do I expect 100 comments?
