McSTINKY'S!!. Review on McDonald's Centre One Mall Navi, Vashi, Navi Mumbai

''You deserve a break today!'' The television commercial boasts smiling, friendly staff, eager to do as you please. Helping old people enter through the door, helping a parent by holding a child while she seats her other children with the food, warning people of wet floors. ''It's my job,'' the well-groomed, polite young man says. Heart-warming jingle. The Golden Arches. Makes me want to rush out and get a cheeseburger meal with fries and a diet coke (no ice!!)

Almost....

I was on a power walk with a friend of mine one balmy night and we decided to stop in at McDonald's for a water. Well, ok, it was an ice cream (President Clinton style).

The first thing I did was step into the ladies room. There was a peculiar smell in there that could have been combatted by a few sprays of air freshener. The sinks had rings of dirt around the inside, and the mirror had pieces of food streaked on it. Yummy! As a person who once was a supervisor at a competitive chain of fast food restaurants, I know that the bathrooms are reflective of the kitchen. So I should have run screaming from the restaurant instead of meeting my friend at the ordering counter.

I was greeted by the staff from their perches on various countertops and chairs in the dining room. As it was close to closing time, I was willing to forgive this. I know how boring it is that late at night. My cashier had his shirt untucked and his hat off. He said ''hey'', and not even very politely either. Nonetheless, here were two girls who have been on diets forever (a week), and would kill for a taste of anything but lettuce! So we ordered and were promptly told that the ice cream machine was shut off for the night. It was divine intervention, I'm sure, so we ordered something for our friends at home.

We had a seat at a clean table as we were told it would be a few moments before our food would be ready. Meanwhile, the staff continued to roughhouse and talk as if we weren't customers and listening. The sexual comments to the cashiers girlfriend made me lose whatever hunger I had originally felt.

Twenty Minutes Later

Morbid curiosity finally bested me, and I glanced into the kitchen to see how our food was coming along. It turns out, the cheese curd for the poutine was not thawed and they were thawing it on the counter. At that rate, we would have gotten home in a few days. So I gave them a few tips to thaw the brick and we were on our way to getting the food. Fresh fries were taken from the fryer, the cheese was sprinkled on top, and gravy was poured over that. The worker tried to put it in the bag and it slipped. I watched as he stuck his thumb in the poutine, picked it up, put the lid on and put it in the bag. I immediately called him on his mistake and demanded he make us a new one. He questioned me on why he should since it didn't touch the floor.

Sparing you the pain of the next hour

We made it home with our food, and ran for the five minutes to her house, to make it seem as though we had been walking the entire time. The burgers were squished, the meat was old, the fries were cold, and the poutine had barely any gravy on it. Needless to say, I was incensed and I got my money back with a quick complaint to higher management. That boy cashier, I found out, was the night manager!!

I will never go to McDonald's again, unless it is for a cheap bottle of water.