LONDON NIGHTMARES. Review on London Dreams

The movie is aptly titled. The story line goes to London, you go to sleep and dream throughout; hence, ‘London dreams’.

Two village lads in Punjab have a family legacy of music. Devgn, with his mournful countenance and austere visage , migrates to London and promises himself he will allow nothing to come in the way of his realizing his musical ambitions. Salman remains behind and rises to be a member of the village wedding band, and impregnator of married , voluptuous and wanton village lasses.

One is dedicated but mediocre, the other is talented but frivolous. Ajay helps Salman to migrate to London and inducts Salman into his band, only to find Salman soon stealing the thunder from him. Salman’s popularity soon soars, and he even manages to steal the affections of Asin, a band member, whom Ajay silently worships and loves. Devgn is consumed by professional and personal jealousy and plots revenge . He lures Salman into a world of sleaze, sex and drugs. Salman is manipulated with self loathing and returns to India, feeling he has let down his best pal and lady love. Soon after however, Ajay Devgn is also afflicted by guilt at having cheated on his dearest, simple friend, and convinced by his uncle who has overcome his convenient amnesia, returns to india to woo back his old friend and return to London to reunite and perform again as a band.

The plot has many gaps and leaves it to the fanciful imagination of the creative audience to fix these black holes in their information. I felt like I was doing my son’s school project where an English passage with only the beginning and ending is given , and the parents have to write the remaining story !!

Ajay unsuccessfully attempts to portray a dark , foreboding, Heathcliff kind of dilemma ( anyone read ‘ Wuthering Heights’?) He tries to enact his sado –masochistic , self disciplining and penitent personal tragedy by lashing himself, but is most unconvincing. Instead , he sulks through the second half and pines in the first. Clearly, this range and depth of emoting an intense, grey protagonist is beyond his brief. Salman doesn’t come across as a light hearted flirt or road side romeo; he is too restrained in his acting and clearly out of depth as a rustic romantic. He is most comfortable as a sauve , urban crook, which is clearly not his calling here. Asin, the under employed Chennai Express, is endowed with oversized breasts and heels , and boyish hips, just has to look cute ( which she is , she sure is), and dance in a few songs.

All the actors are , well , just acting. The director clearly has miscast and fails to take people used to doing dance and song sequences, to a higher plane of emoting.

The actors are also cheaply dressed ( How zero was invented? Indians are legendary for their cheapness, but their miserliness eventually benefited the whole world.) Ajay has a depressing wardrobe, to sync with his lovelorn melancholy. Asin wears stuff picked from Chandni Chowk and Salman is dressed by a designer who seems to be a cross between the local darzi and Levis.

The movie is a persistent musical, with very bad music. Except the ‘ khanabadosh’ number, the rest of the music is below par, adding to the jarring effect.

The best part of the movie was the trailer of ‘ 3 Idiots’ !

I do not know why Bollywood must stubbornly persist with churning out mediocre, immature fare. They are simply not entertaining. Even the telly serials such as ‘Big Boss’ are more dramatic , intense and engaging. I also am seriously disappointed with the lavish reviews on this movie. When even the critics have lost their critical judgment and vitriolic barb, who do we trust? I certainly am not going for any more Hindi movies till I have read my own review on it first !

The accessories required to emerge alive from this life threatening experience are ; ear plugs, an ebook or audio book, eye masks and an inflatable pillow , to sleep peacefully.