Jan 21, 2006 01:19 AM
13850 Views
(Updated Jan 23, 2006 07:53 PM)
I have read and enjoyed most of what has been written on this subject on this forum. Since it is a subject close to my heart, and something that I am experienced enough to have an opinion about, I thought I should put my two cents in as well!
To elaborate on the “experience” bit, I was born in Canada (first 3 years of my life), raised in India (21 years of my life), and have been working in Canada for the past five years. I am now all set to go back to India for good end of February. While I didn’t have a choice as to where I was born or raised, the decision to live outside India was mine alone, as is my decision to go back. The reason why I stress that is because a lot of women, and some men I suppose, move because their families want to, or their spouse wants to, neither of which is applicable to me.
Fresh out of post-grad studies in India, I came to Canada on my own, to find a job, be independent, and sort of test my wings as a “grown up” .Why Canada…why not do it in India? For the simple reason that at that time I didn’t think I could do the whole… “living on my own, earning enough money, feeling safe doing all that” in India. Having said that, there are tons of brave, single women my age in India, doing just that…but I was just a lazy, 24 year old with an itch to be an “adult” somewhere without too much of a struggle!
And life in Canada has been good. My first interview resulted in a great job, exactly in my field of interest, paid well enough for me to rent nice places to stay, to get a car, and to travel out of the country to Europe/States. I never have had to worry about being eve-teased or feeling unsafe on the roads (which ALL women who have lived in India can attest to).
I didn’t cling to my Indian-ness too much, in that I made good friends who weren’t Indian, lived with a South-American family for two years and learned Spanish, had a Slovakian room-mate for a year, did the whole winter sports Canadian thing, and even learnt to appreciate the game of Ice-hockey (THAT was hard coz I'm a major cricket-obsessed fan!)
Not that everything was easy. Winters here are extremely harsh and that’s hard for us tropical-heat types! While I’ve never encountered racism here, it is an unmistakable fact that as someone essentially “Non-Canadian”, you are different. While I may have come here with an open-mind, to make friends, learn about a different culture, the people who’ve lived here for centuries may not necessarily be as adventurous or forthcoming with a stranger like me. Most of my friends here are people who’ve migrated from places like Hong-Kong, Jamaica, and Colombia, and not so much the born and bred Canadian. The born and bred Canadian is ALWAYS polite and friendly in a distant manner, but never quite at ease or familiar with me.
The hardest thing about leaving ones country and living in a new place, is the memory of PEOPLE you leave behind. It wasn’t so much in the sad or difficult times that I missed my family and friends from back home, for I have been lucky enough to have good friends here to help me out in rough times…it is in the HAPPY moments that I missed them the most. Somehow, even though life is relatively easy here, I don’t CELEBRATE life as much as I did in India. When I am happy and smile at someone, I don’t find other people sharing in that…although they do show “polite” interest and curiosity! That’s one of the things I find perplexing and contrary about life in Canada…..even though people here are blessed with so much, they rarely celebrate being alive. Even Christmas here has become an occasion to grumble about unwanted expenses and unwanted family, rather than a moment to celebrate life and be happy.
About four and some years into my life in Canada, I realised that I had seen a bit of the world, done the whole “growing” up thing, was out of the shadow of my wonderfully warm family, and most importantly, was comfortable in my own skin….what now? I could continue living my comfortable, but somewhat antiseptic life here, or go back to the life of struggle that I was afraid of in the first place. It wasn’t that much of a tough decision….before I knew it I’d resigned, packed my suitcases (even though I have a good month to go before I actually leave!) and was (am) dreaming of looking all misty eyed down at Indian soil (a la Shahrukh in “Swades”!) from my exalted Air India flight! I don’t know if I’ll get a good job there, I don’t know if I can be as easily independent in India as I am in Canada….. but I do know that on those days that I am happy to be alive, I will find at least one person who will smile back at me!
