Somebody Save Me. Review on Krrish

I don't remember exactly what happened in Koi... Mil Gaya, or rather, how I felt about it when I watched it. If I were to watch it again, today, as a critic, and in the context of world movies, I would have to say that it is a prime reason why Sci Fi probably doesn't have any standing in Bollywood... and shouldn't. Krrish follows along the same lines--further substantiating my claim that Bollywood directors should probably stick to the family drama (that I can easily avoid), the raucous comedy (that no one enjoys) and the romantic comic (that I can sometimes stand, but not usually).

While we are on the topic of criticizing moive genres, let me also suggest that Bollywood directors and producers should please stay awayfrom remakes, historical dramas and thrillers that try too hard. These inevitably result in a failure that usually doesn't even hurt my pocket. It's sad that some of the best movies in Bollywood are, however, ignored, because they do not contain a bajillion stars and 15 different dance sequences.

Anyway, back to Krrish. If you expect to read spoilers here, you are expecting the correct type of thing. Krrish starts off awhile after KMG ends, but no one is really sure how long after. Oh no, wait, I believe it is about 20 years. Of course, Hrithik-junior (the junior who plays Krishna--who is the son of the KMG dude) is abnormal. Except in this case, he is abnormally intelligent. Ooh! A difference!

Grandma darling decides to move away to an unknown place far away in a corner of India (that seems to have all four seasons in the span of one day), since everyone in the family but her are no longer with us (i.e.not in the movie payroll... i.e. I didn't wanna do this film). Our gallant, young genius (who proves his intelligent through an IQ test organized by a school, which--incredibly--asks questions on Economics and Biology... I guess I don't actually have a 100+ IQ) then develops into a muscular and ripped Hrithik Roshan while racing his horse up a few hills.

He has no friends, of course, probably because he doesn't tell anyone else where he hides his bodybuilding equipment. Some people are probably also jealous of or unhappy with his loose clothing, which, I must admit, looks extremely comfortable. So he befriends animals... but luckily this is not Jaanwar Ka Dost (Dr. Dolittle Bollywood Edition).

Young Krishna hence spends his days doing things everyday 20-year-olds should do--jump off mountains, race monkeys up trees and try and chasedown paragliders--running around on the canopy, of course. He then happens upon Priya(nka Chopra) who is on an adventure camp. Of course, preserving identity is of top importance, so what follows are the few appreciable scenes of the movie. Comic relief is provided by a sherpa character.The movie may have promise, one thinks to oneself.

Then everyone leaves and our hero is devastated. He has fallen in love in 10 days with Priya(nka Chopra) and she is leaving him because she lives in Singapore. Oh, how can one forget the generous contribution of Uniquely Singapore (Singapore Tourism) in everything from hoardings to credits to the movie. Unexpectedly, though, Priya(nka Chopra) doesn't have a mangetar back home in Singapore. She does get fired from her job, and decides to save it by bringing "Indian Superboy" (I kid you not, this is what he is called) to Singapore and... I guess pretend like he's in a zoo or something.

Priya(nka Chopra)'s complete lack of character is admirable. She seems to care not at all about Krishna's feelings. I guess... that's how people are in real life. Very philosophical movie, this! She and her...cousin(?), whose name is Honey, then try and get Krishna to share his wares for their profits, but he has promised Grandmum that he will keep mum. So he pretends like he's your normal Indian tourist--ripped like a tiger, dancing like a gatorade advertisment model, and knowing martial arts like the dude from that Chinese movie that won an Oscar. Everyone loves him, and what transpires is a segment from Spiderman.

I don't want to spoil anyone's fun, but I feel I have successfully insulted any part of the movie that was worth watching. What follows is open-mouth syndrome from me as craziness makes me wonder if I am not watching some old 80's action film on CVO. Special effects are amazing--it looks like all action heroes are being dragged across the screen. Oh wait... it's digital effects, isn't it? A few more hints while I a sign off: don't mourn those who aren't dead, don't try and change the future, and don't protect any of your computer documents with your heart and eye, though that's how the saying goes.