May 30, 2003 09:55 PM
4470 Views
(Updated May 30, 2003 09:56 PM)
Dear friends,
Kangaroo Jack was inspiring. Since watching the film earlier this week, I've written up a script of our own. No, make that five scripts with the same ending. It's a reality film, featuring the cast and crew of Kangaroo Jack. One plot has them stuck in a dark, unused tunnel when a ghost train knocks them out. Another plot has them falling out of a damaged airplane with no parachutes. Plot three has them stuck in the Australian Outback in the middle of a 'roo stampede.
You get the picture, right ? Still, I'm compelled to do what the film does (seeing as how it has inspired me greatly). I'll drill the point into your head, because I assume that you are entirely bereft of intelligence. All the people responsible for this film should shoot themselves.
Kangaroo Jack isn't even slapstick comedy. When one joke - a conversation about camels flatulence, for example - is played out for several minutes, it stops being funny.
Worse still, the over-an-hour-long film leaves you stranded in a theatre watching two complete idiots (Jerry O'Connell as Charlie and Anthony Anderson as Louis) trying to recover a jacket (that has $50,000 in it) that they put on a dead kangaroo. Why were they dressing a dead 'roo ? Didn't I say they were idiots ?
I'll backtrack a little and explain the story : Charlie and Lewis are best friends, whose hair-brained get-rich-quick schemes are always backfiring. Charlie's step-dad is a mobster (Christopher Walken), who is fed up with the bungling duo, so he gives them a job to get them out of his hair once and for all. They are asked to deliver a package ($50,000) to ''associates'' Down Under.
Where does the 'roo come in ? Charlie and Lewis knock him down on a dusty Outback road and then decide to christen him ''Jacky Legs'', dress him up and photograph him ! The surprise is that the kangaroo isn't dead. He runs off with the money and the rest of the film is spent chasing him through the wilderness.
Along the way, a sexy wildlife conservationist (Estella Warren) and mobsters from Australia and New York join the chase. When Charlie and Louis try to complete their assignment, the bad guys try to make sure that idiots one and two from Brooklyn find themselves dead in the Australian Outback.
To be fair, this may have been a fun film for kids who are still amused by ''passing gas'' jokes, animated animals and stupid people falling all over themselves. But with all the sexual innuendo (some breast squeezing, etc.) and some violence, it's not a kiddie flick either.
