Jun 24, 2004 11:14 PM
6178 Views
(Updated Jun 24, 2004 11:21 PM)
It would be wonderful, if not a miracle, if millions of Indians living below the poverty line could (barely) manage to exchange their wife-beating, chauvinistic, good-for-nothing, probably-impotent, probably-polygamous, probably-multi-sexual and probably-low-libidinous pati-parmeshwars in return for crores of rupees/dollars. Alas! If wishes could be horses, certainly beggars would ride planes and not just fly! Remarkably Bollywoodish to its very core and a typical phammily (family as pronounced in certain parts of the country) theme, Judaai attempts to strike into the deep hidden desires and sensitivities of innocent gullibles, create hype + earn moollah on the sacred topic of marriage. Not pretty fair! I guess; but lets see what the movie offers for all of us i.e. applying the morals of the film in real life; but ehh!! Wait no baba! (another typical English speaking crowd) pay attention to some solid advice from reliable experts and here it goes :-
(1) How to deal with your 'man' if he possesses one or more of the aforementioned qualities - get rid of him and get pots full of money and then get one more with that money - doesn't that sound like an infinite loop-kinda? Try it, after all, variety is the spice of life, isn't it?
(2) How to search (better than Google this time!) for a high-society, sex-smitten super-bitch (read Urmila for the first half of the movie) kahan kahan? - in the nearby electronic show-room, baba!!
(3) Ensure you have enough convincing weapons - fasting till your wish is agreed upon (now is there any husband like AK - the ever-loving, caring, sharing ? okay okay those are Sushmita Sen's Miss Universe words typical to win the crown which she did ultimately)
(4) Ensure you are greedy glutton to an extent who can tolerate her pati in someone else's bahon mein - you should not attempt anything that could put an abrupt end to your Khushi - NOT to cry then and there or shout filmi dialogues like Bewafa to your hubby or Chudail to your souten or for that matter wrap yourself in a Kaikeyi style Manish Malhotra (Rs 400 sari designer for Chameli Kapoor) designed black sari with atleast a 10-metre long paloo hanging on a dangerous cliff with no make-up on your other-wise pancaked face.
(5) Ensure that you have words ready to blurt out to people like your sati savitri mom who has been tolerating her husband for quite some time when she comes out of the kitchen-world to give you her 2-piece advice on how to overcome greed and get back to your roots. Also practise well for some good tit-for-tat filmi dialogues to restrain any efforts made by your ever-talkative sawali jumala type ex-landlord when he comes over to your new gaudy over-decorated palatial house (not home!) to vex you with his taunting piercing shabad when you are at peace with your only buddy in life - with doggy dear beside you (can you afford a tiger as your pet beside you like Feroz Khan Afghani, no - then suffice with an alternate canine with less dripping saliva of Indian brand) .
(6) Make sure you are ready to change your make-over and life-style almost instantly after the grand-switchover - start playing cards with identical-minded, fool-proof, dumb-headed, big-busted female chauvinistic wives with their husbands toiling day and night while they manage to constantly bicker and batter louder than the pots and pans in your old home.
(7) Have a pet - having said before that wild animals may not match to your new standards apart from being hazardous to the riches of your house and your new found sundarta, try to keep a well-mannered, clean (who will clean it now! Baba!!!) pet dog who wags his tail behind your every move. Add a dash to this scene! - try to have an invisible sound system in your new palace that raises an alarmingly loud dang-dang noise every time you utter some words to your second doggie - oops I meant your hubby dear or souten dear or kids (if you happen to have them). Coming to kids, on second thoughts, nahi hai to bhi chalega but having them is an added advantage - the souten will be convinced about the virile powers of your ex-man- may result in more booty from souten dear.
(8) Last but never the least: manage well with your new standards especially with your old friends and neighbours who used to tease you at every possible occasion they could find - when your man forgot to take you to the cinema hall or buy you a motor-gaadi, when you were sans the new found wealth. Khar-khotti sunate rahena kya sabko to maintain your dab-daba.
Coming to the movie, having said all the above, eventhough the theme/plot of the movie was pretty much meaningless as this may never happen in real life, yet was made memorable with undying love of AK (scenes with Sridevi especially when she was hell bent to sell her hubby and didn't eat for quite a few days), Johnny Lever, Abba Dabba Jabba (this is already discussed by many in various other reviews, so I won't touch it now) and Kader Khan and Urmi's figure - check it out if you haven't. The apparent instant guise of Urmila to a house-wife, sati-savitri patni complete with sindoor and mangal-sutra and kids getting attracted to her as their new found-Maa was picturized well to add effects.
Some scenes that I found extremely well written and directed with high dosage of melodrama & comedy were:
(1) Johnny Lever acts in front of this house that his dad 'Kader Khan' has died in his own original way and the tamasha that is triggered
(2) Abba dabba jabba comedy; when Johnny Lever accidentally hugs his saas which looks like his wife.
(3) The scenes of repent and guilt by Sridevi; Poonam Dhillon makes a powerful impact with her otherwise 2-minute scene there.
(4) The feeling of handicap felt by Sridevi when she is late to apply tilak to AK or make nashta for him in the morning while Urmila does her job as her duty of wife towards the kids and AK. Sridevi's acting of impatience is well done here.
(5) The scene when Farida Jalal brings a home-made cake for the birthday of her grand-son but is unable to gift it to him owing to the status difference created and well demonstrated by her own daughter - agar bahu hoti, to samajh mein aata tha, par apni hi beti - tauba tauba!
Moral of the story: jaisa bhi apna pati/patni hai - usise kaam chala lo - if he/she is becoming a headache, get into counselling; you may not want to use the above option or for that matter, will you be able to get a Urmila for your hubby dear or most important should you - soch lo! This movie may apparently look good fun and comedy entertainment for 3 hours but has a moral for many who have indulged too much in money.
We all are greedy in this world - some less, some more and that is the sole reason why no one in this world is free from problems (Nanak dukhiya sab sansar - Guru Nanak says 'every mortal who takes birth has one or more problems' and greed is just one element of that.
