Oct 23, 2006 09:23 PM
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Jaan-e-man – one of my favourite words in the Urdu language, but this will never be one of my favourite movies in the Hindi cinema. The trailers are pretty clear as to the kind of entertainment you should expect from this movie and had I been in India, I would not have gone to watch it. But in the UK it was more of an outing than a movie and we don’t get too many Hindi options here.
Well as an outing it sucked, depressing rain all the time, as a movie though, it sucked Big Time.
Essentially, movie-making is the art of story-telling. Combined with the science of movie-making, i.e. the technology, it creates stories on celluloid which keeps millions of people watching the screen spellbound, feeling the emotions that the director wants them to feel. In the past years, the science of story-telling has progressed tremendously, which talented directors combine with the story and their own unique style of story-telling to create magic on the silver screen. Case in point, the recent Hollywood movie - King Kong.
In Jaan-e-man however, the director has been so carried away by the science of movie-making that he has lost sight of the fact that he has no story and no art of story-telling. The result is that he loses the viewers fairly early in the game and it is just as advisable to leave in the intermission as to stay to tolerate the rest just because you spent 7 pounds to buy the stupid ticket.
I’ll talk briefly about the plot, not giving away the ending, but with the confidence that any average, Hindi moviegoer, regardless of age and education, can guess the rest of the movie to the end, including each predictable twist and turn.
Salman Khan, Suhaan, actor, failed. Married Piya, Preity Zinta, failed in his career and lost her too. Divorced at the time when the story (so-called) starts. She lives in New York, successful businesswoman, owner of a boutique, asks him for 50Lakh Rs. as alimony. Dwarf uncle, Anupam Kher, his lawyer, advises him to find a way to arrange 50 Lakh instead of fighting on behalf of the out-of-work actor husband. (Don’t get me started on the legal points of this stupid idea.). Enter Akshay Kumar, college time fan of Preity’s charms, 7 years in NASA, Houston, Texas. But still a bumpkin by character, (all characters are out of whack like this). Uncle and Suhaan inspire him and send him to woo Piya in New York. And then, Suhaan goes with him to help him as he is a complete idiot, which noone can be after living in Texas for 7 years. If you want to survive in Texas you wise up pretty fast. Not to mention that astronauts are selected for their sharp mind, quick adaptability, fast reflexes and high IQ. Still, that’s just one of the logical blunders out of millions you find in this movie. No prizes for guessing who gets the girl in the end.
In the name of cinematography there are a lot of animation/digital sequences in the movie, which would look great in a James Bond style thriller but screw up the story in this romantic comedy.
There was a big potential for comedy in the stuck-in-the-rut romantic story but there is none. Anupam Kher is in two roles one dwarf, again technology good, story nil. He doesn’t get a chance to do any wonders in either role.
Salman has acted as he could working under a mediocre, misguided director, meaning, below average.
Preity looks good; she, though in the lead role, has got surprisingly little footage. Her face shows signs of aging and bloating at close range, first noticed in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, but fortunately, there are only 2 such close-ups of her in the movie.
Akshay has done as well as he could under the story and direction. No complaints.
Dialogues are poorly written. No punch. No real life edge in the lines. Just drama.
Dress designs esp. for Preity (I am a guy yaar), are very good, but for guys also not bad.
Technical work is superb even though it doesn’t belong in the story.
Emotional scenes fail to move completely and I am one of those people who cry very readily in emotional scenes. In this film I cried only on my decision to buy the ticket.
Some comedy, though cheap, does make people laugh.
Songs: Music is good, though too loud in some small sequences and even irritating in one particular piece. Background music, borrowed from the songs, has been done excellently well. Lyrics are above average, one especially impresses, “Ishq maasoom hai”.
There are flashbacks under flashbacks, dreams, thoughts and what not throughout the movie to keep the viewer sufficiently confused.
Next time you don’t want me to watch a movie, just tell me it’s directed by the director of Jaan-e-man.
Verdict: We were a group of 7 people and only 1 of us liked it. My advice would be to watch it on DVD with your thumb on the fast forward button. But don’t watch it on the pirated print, you’ll miss all the fun of the animated, digitally mastered sequences.
Disclaimer: It’s just my opinion, don’t take it personally.
