Jul 22, 2005 05:30 PM
6699 Views
(Updated Jul 25, 2005 09:55 AM)
Intercaste Marriage (IM) does it really work.... Today in Metro cities so many cases of Love Marriages.... Nowadays it is not a taboo to marry someone from a different caste.... Marathi boy with Gujju girl, Sindhi boy – tamil girl, Malayali boy - Gujarati girl, Hindu boy with Muslim girl. So many permutation-combinations are possible. Nobody feels it is necessary to understand the cons of IM :
Religious Rituals
At the time of marriage people try to mix two religions ..eg ;
1 Bengali and Maharashtrian getting married .....it was arya samaj marriage and then girl kanyadan was in Bengali style ....Mangalsutra ceremony in Maharashtrian way.
2 Tamil boy getting married to Gujarati girl...Tamils don’t have engagement ceremony hence Gujarati '' Gud-dana'' was done to satisfy the girls side.
This is still acceptable and not a hindrance to the couple, but once the marriage and honeymoon time is over the calamities start…
The Girl is expected to learn all the customs of a new religion. At the time of festivals, poojas, marriage-functions, ceremonies… Bride has to dress as required by the family expectation. She has to learn to pray in new way, new arti, new god. She has to drape nine yard sari (at times if required). Prepare food (Daily and special ocassions) as per spouses liking and family set standards.
Eatin pattern :(Marriage betn Veg Girl and Non Veg boy)
a Imagine preparing something that you never thought of touching in life
b Eating with Non Vegetarian family might make u nauseatic
Language barrier : Teaching your kid the Mother-Tongue
What would I actually teach my kid ....if I am married in South-Indian family imagine learning Tamil after marriage and teaching my kid that language and also the term ''mother tongue'' implies that I should teach him my language (one before marriage)....what a dilemma first learn a new language yourself and then teach your kid two language in addition to English, Hindi, Marathi (for a Mumbaite)
The above three situations give rise to crisis in married life. A happily married couple start facing society pressure, parental pressure. So much to an extent that bride feels is it better to stay away from husband’s parents & relatives and stop interacting with them. She starts doing things in her own way. In all this, the kids (future genre) get affected the most. They don’t understand the hatred and cold war between their mother and grand parents.
Husbands play an important role here to keep the situation calm. He is the only person to convince his mother and wife to understand each other. If he is clever enough (and Caring too) then he will see to it that the house is not split in two part over this minor issue. He controls the situation by setting few rules in the house.
In India atleast one can expect this from their Son …abroad it is said that Old parents are put in “Old Age Homes”. India is place with a different types of caste and culture. They do have domestic problems but in the end they have the heart to sort the issue without breaking the house. Hence, Culture of Joint Families are often seen in India.
Coming bac to the crux of the matter...Intercaste Marriages are on a rise...A request to Young unmarried couples...kindly think over this and instead of leaving your spouse try think over how to solve the issue and stay together like one family
