Class, today’s subject is Handling Depression on Mouthshut. . Mme GNS be taking this class. OK, now pay attention…no moodiness in the back benches.if I see any pill passing, they will be confiscated.
Now, since there is a lot of ground to cover(89 reviews+ this one) and not enough pills to go around, what we have done is to just read the titles, and perhaps the first two lines(in most reviews), which will give you most of the information anyways. “Walking in darkness”, “it is hard to handle”, “diet, exercise, socialise and get out of depression?”, “sleep is a cure”, “dark blue days of depression can be turned into light”, “my life with depression”, “there is light at the end of the tunnel”(at the end of this review though, there is only pros and cons). .
Why are there so many Depression reviews on MS?
It is one of the coming-of-age rites on MS. Everyone must, sooner or later, go through with it. Its how well you do on this test that makes a Star Writer. Soon, we’re going to need a category for Advice on How to Write a Handling Depression Review .(GNS has already suggested it, go back to your seats)
There is a slight Depression over Bay of Bengal, with forecast mostly….sorry wrong Depression.
History of Depression: Early pioneer of Depression on MS was one Surinder, with his path-breaking off-topic review Handling Stress, on April 27, 2001, where he talks a lot about Stress, but nothing about Depression, thus paving the way for this topic to be abused for a variety of things.(Class, I want a 2 page digression from each of you by tomorrow on this topic). Surinder recommends “keeping an eye on things that might suggest you are not coping well enough.” Strangely, this pioneer failed to recognize that writing off-topic reviews is one of them, and perished this April. There were many great Depressionists(outnumbering the Oppressionists and French Impressionists), and one Suppressionist(Depression is Suppression, by reyaa, Nov 2001).
What is Depression?
Xelavie considers Depression a State of Mind *(5 Jan 03). “The symptoms start with lethargy followed by feeling of having a blank mind”.(Note, if you feel a blank mind coming on, don’t continue to write reviews.Stop!). pankhuri_chopra says “Depression is like a scking parasite”. But ford_prefect says – “Depression? No its life”. So, to sum it up, Depression is the sucky life caused by an internal parasite ending in lethargy and finally, blankness(and maybe rain over parts of Orissa and Andhra Pradesh).
What causes Depression?
Welll, there are many theories. Just-did-it seems to have brought it on himself like Dr Jekyll(My experiments with Depression, Mar 25, 02). For pixie, the cause was A Conversation with Yourself( 11 mar 03) –( at least she’s honest, even if depressed) . Mostly though, its caused by reading dull MS reviews on a rainy Friday evening in poor lighting.
Detecting Depression
Depression is hard to detect from just member ID. joydrop26, for instance, or pinklove34 seem more likely to write Five Best Love Songs, rather than Handling Depression. And crimemastergogo is also hard to spot as a Depressionist(is he depressed crime doesn’t pay?). As for suryagroup, this seems to be a whole community afflicted. Generally, anyone writing under the topic Handling Depression is a sure suspect, although we’re not sure about the following titles.
Psychological Game(samsat, Apr 4 ’03), which starts like thrilling fiction, The Tortoise knows better(preran, 29 Jan ’04) which starts like a bedtime story, I see a red door, and I want it painted black(ShaliniSrinivasan, 6 Apr 04) which may turn out to be about interior decoration, Struggle that left me richer(manoj101, Oct 1, ’04) which is probably from the author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad. And Ridikkulous(Akisha, 31 Oct ’04) and The Dementor called Depression(mhl94, 17 Nov 04) are clearly sequels to Harry Potter.
How to handle depression
There are some fine publications on how to handle it - Watt lag gaye mamu?, Life1oxygen, Jan 28, 04), Men Don’t Cry(vivekbp 12 Mar 03), Mind Matters(rjois, 14 Mar 03), Thus spake GB(ganeshb, 15 Mar 03), *Meet the Moilys *(premjit, Jan 28 ’04), *Life Sucks? Don’t read the review *(suyog, 1 feb ’04) to name just a few.(GNS coudnt handle reading all).
GNS favorite is shadab8, (Did Somebody called for a doctor?, Mar 26, 02) Says he complained that he had no shoes, until he met a man who had no feet. This example is now past expiry date. A more recent example is complaining you have no money, and meeting a man who had no wallet-Who is better off? Form groups of 4 and Discuss.
Shadab8 has many good solutions that almost succeed…a) hitting a pillow like it was your boss( but you may be depressed more after seeing your pillow bill) b) take a long soothing walk, don’t rush(unless its just outside your bus-stop) c) Take a headlong dive into your hobbies –reading, etc(but if it is swimming, check that the pool is drained, first).
After this review there will be a Pop Quiz(to see if you are depressed enough?) and on Sunday there will be a makeup test for those who failed to stay alive past Friday. Those who score low again will be required to take the special class -Tips on Writing a Winning Suicide Review(date is flexible, but must be taken before your suicide).
Class Depressed…and Dismissed.
(this is an Impressionist rendering of the Depressionist era on MS – please to excuse and godbless – I am going- GNS).
