Chill you are just 30. Review on General Tips on Personal Grooming

This is the closest I could get to put this review under

Scene 1 – Take 1(one Friday night sometime in 2000-2001)

A dude(at least in his own opinion) walks into a rocking pub accompanied by a gang of friends( a fair mix of both sex), reach the counter .gulps a drink down and heads towards the dance floor, nobody buzz and he get lost in the crowd to dance the night away. Though he is with his fiancée(soon to be wife, marriage proposal not yet floated from either side) he doesn’t care ordering another drink and she doesn’t bother stopping more than a customary “enough! you gotta drop me at my PG. how would you drive”. “Tum janti ho mujhe chadti nahin hai ma’am and this is not the first time”.  Both happy. both dancing.

Music gets over you as the night progress so does the liquer.men being men. you have a fairly good idea of how many hot chick are in today and you don’t miss an opportunity to shake a leg for a while with one of those who’s partner is out for a smoke or may be to relieve himself from the pressure built upon by continuous supply of beer. She don’t mind and your fiancée is absolutely fine with this. all happy all charged up and later in the night you reach home go off to sleep. Life without worries.that is. at least under the influence of alcohol.

Cut to today(another Friday night)

Same person walk into the same bar where people( at least the staff) recognize him for being a patron. You tried calling friends(whoever are left in the city) but almost none can join, someone has a late night call with a US client that he can’t afford to miss as he is a manager now, someone is keeping up with his not doing well wife and someone has a kiddo who he/she can not bring to a pub for sure. In the end you, your wife and another couple from same group are in(courtesy parents who are here for some time and would be taking care of my 5 month old son).

No, you don’t head for the counter straight away, you look for a table where you can seat your wife before you order that first drink. Thankfully India continues to be a younger nation( read somewhere that average age of Indians would be around 30-35 betweenn 2020 -2030) so you get table of your choice as most of the guests are busy dancing. A couple of drinks down you ask your wife for a dance… she will not buzz. at least now coz she has become a complete teetotaler and don’t get that high which will push  her to go and join that group. she would rather like to enjoy her mocktails with those mouth watering snacks and chit chat with the other lady in our group of four.

No problem, pahadi(this friend of mine is from himanchal) and I decide to go. Almost. all on the dance floor looked at two guys(man?) walking in before getting back to their grooving and moving. Well I don’t claim to be a hrithik/prabhudeva/zaved/ or even govinda but I can shake my hips well and even calibrate my hands/head to go with those hip movements. Pahadi and me are enjoying… we are getting to our best. getting informal. using those shudh hindi galis for each other which we have stopped using for a while now. The mood is enlightening…the heart is pumping and all of a sudden you start feeling that killing pain in your money belt. it is too much to continue hipping(dancing) you want to put that bottle of breezer down and sit… in the act you bump into a cute girl(just out of college or may be still doing her graduation) and before you could react she says “sorry uncle” and moves on…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

What happened to the music. what happened to that roaring crowd.why is everybody so silent….you are not able to make out if your hands are frozen or that bottle of breezer is too cold to hold on. You are stunned…a thousand thoughts come and go thru your mind. should I go and give a nice one to that girl .should I run away before anybody could notice…what what what.what do I do. I was, as Sidhu once said, As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.

It’s all over… nothing left…you crawl back to the table where your wife is waiting for you to go back home.you need another drink…desperately. a large one at that… she is not letting you order(is it the same girl with whom I had double than this).but you got to have it else you would die…you go back to your tried and tested trick of going to the washroom and gulp a drink down on cash payment from the counter which is not visible from the table your wife is sitting at.

So what is the moral of the story? Start planning your life after 30 when you are 25 or even less. I would like to quote my dad here, he always says “everybody in this world has come here with his/her own quota of everything. the quicker you consume something lesser it will last”. So.

Cut down on that nicotine and alcohol, quitting is even better(I leave it to your discretion), so that you can enjoy it till much later in your life. Work those extra calories out( most of us get a full fledged gym at our work places but never realize it’s importance till we cross 30). While your mind may not grow old but your body does( my case), understand your limitations and act accordingly. No I do not mean stop visiting those pubs.it is still very much your type of place. Plan in advance how would you like to look when you are 30 or above, in most likelihood you hair would start turning gray(thanks to what we eat and our lifestyle) if you do not want them to show up make sure you are fairly religious in  visiting your barber to color your hairs. Worst thing you can do to yourself is walk into your office with all black hairs whereas yesterday everybody noticed snowfall on your head. You may also start loosing your hairs as well, work towards your hair style. Stop those experiments and go for a more conventional cut, they help hide those runways appearing on both side of your skull. You have enjoyed enough junk food before you got married and even after that. Try and restrict your appetite now. eat healthy. And please do not get to booze on every opportunity you get, be selective. Make a schedule for yourself and follow it.

Last but not the least

30’s is the most productive age in all counts, make most of it. Work hard. party harder .make sure you have stamina to do that. There is nothing wrong if somebody calls you a “uncle/aunty” as the case may be, take it in your stride. Time will come( or rather have already come) that a 15 year old address a 25 year old as uncle.

The author has just crossed the milestone which read 30 and is learning to live with it. Is not completely dejected but yes is a little disappointed in loosing those wonderful twenties .

I thank you for reading this reivew if you have come thus far.