Every woman is special. Review on General Tips on Impressing Women

Main_chup should have remained chup – but again, if he had remained chup then I would not have thought of this review. Am I calling this a review? Absolutely not. Just an idiot’s guide to impressing women. Read on, if you are brave. Walk out without a comment if you are braver.

*Disclaimer: All thoughts and opinions expressed by me in this review are my own and do not intentionally represent those of other women.

*DO…

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Be mysterious*:

*All women are sleuths at heart, yes, all of them – even those lovely, delicate ladies with peaches-n-cream complexion. If you become the ‘mystery man’ who comes in her life, wearing a mask, sweeps her off her pretty feet and then disappears into the fog with not a trace behind you, you can bet that she will be searching for you relentlessly till she finds you, horse, saddle and all.  A woman loves a challenge, so make sure you give her plenty.

Keep her guessing *:

There is nothing more unimpressive than a man who calls her up daily, brings the same old red roses, orders the same old takeout and appears to have not an adventurous bone in his body. A woman likes a chase, just like a man does. She likes to be wooed and yet, she likes to wonder what you are doing when you are not wooing her. Let her think, let her doubt, let her bite her pretty nails as she imagines you surrounded by prettier ladies. Let her little kingdom shake a bit but don’t pull your tricks too far. Make sure that you come running back to take her in your arms just when she has decided that she is done with you as you are too much of a puzzle for her.

Give her compliments*:

* But make sure that they are classy enough. For example ‘You are looking so beautiful’ said over and over again could get grating on her delicate ears and make the woman of your dreams suspect that you do not ‘actually’ find her beautiful. A subtle ‘You look so lovely in pink’ or ‘You take my breath away when you smile like that’ should do the trick.

Serenade her *:

* Identify a romantic song which makes you think of her everytime you hear it. And let her know it. Hum it when you are with her sometimes(provided you do not sing too off-tune). Play it for her on your guitar / synthesizer / mouth organ with a sentimental look in your eyes but just do not over do it. If you see her looking outside the window when you are serenading her so, just chuck the act and think of something else. Check out the next point if you are wondering what is ‘something else’.

Give her gifts *:

Yes, and plenty of them too. The more exotic, impulsive, quaint and'just because' they are, the better chance you have of impressing her. Just use your brain, though. For instance, do not make the mistake of giving her expensive jewellery when your lady would be happier receiving a little basket with fake flowers because it is so ‘cute’. Do not ask the meaning of ‘cute’ because the meaning could vary.

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*DON’T.

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Call her ‘gal’ or ‘baby’ or ‘babes’ *:

It’s irritating and downright demeaning for a woman to be called any of those names or similar. Invent a name for her that she associates with only you. Make sure that the name is ultra-feminine and cuddly at the same time. Rack your brains.

Bore her with your rambling thoughts:

She does NOT need to know your long, unending opinions on the budget, the government, the latest book you read, the next to latest movie you watched or your boss’ habits. She may nod her head ever so often and smile charmingly but believe me, she will be getting bored to tears.

Saddle her with your expectations of what ‘a woman should be like’:

She will never forgive you. She knows what a woman should be like, thank you very much. She does not need a sermon in that regard. She can do without lectures on womanhood, thank you again.

Jump on her*:

*A woman likes to seduced with flowers, candles and John Denver crooning “You fill up my senses” in a semi-dark room.  She would never appreciate your cave-man like overtures. Work on your instincts, and hum along with good old John._

PS: In case any of the ladies are bothered about the way I have projected them, please read the disclaimer again.