Statuary Warning: This is one long review.
?The story of the influences of Fountainhead on my life?
Preface
This review is for the ones who have read the book. It's an attempt to look into and beyond the philosophy. The review will deal with the application of the book in real life and where does it take us. I present here my personal experience of undergoing the changes that the book brought in me. Mind you it deals with frustration, revelation, reasoning, fear and most of all doubt. But in past 3-4 years I may have found out where the book leads us. Believe me it's the best feeling when you reach it.
Background:
I was in my final year of my engineering course, when I read this book. Before I read this book I had many ideas about life, which I couldn't get through to people around me. These things, which I felt so strongly, did not find many supporters. I must confess that my grades were always average at college as they were in my school.
I have always been known to study 1/10th of what others study. In college I was one of the top students in class when it came to understanding concepts, but what I couldn't get thru were concept less questions in exams. I didn't want to mug formulae and stuff. I just want to be educated as a flux flow.
I always found that examination patterns stifled creativity and the real greatness of any subject. The various subjects dealing with electronics were just forced down our throats without ever been given an insight into the whys and hows of the concepts. I was very frustrated by the type of education we were getting and was disoriented. I couldn't perform my best due to my lack of regard for the education system.
But I was and have been told that I am wrong, that the world doesn't run according to my beliefs. Yes I know the world is running on crap, below standard trash most of the time. Right from education, business, politics, art and cinema, television, sports, everywhere we see talent and reasoning, judgment and freedom of will are slaughtered by some nameless force.
I felt awful just by seeing that the incompetent and the unworthy were on the top, while the real heroes crumbled below. It may seem I was being very negative, but I had my reasons.
Transformation
And then came Fountainhead and I found that what I was feeling could be expressed in such simple and straightforward manner. I found answers to many questions and I just adored ''Howard Roark'' who told me to lead my path of righteousness and ignore the whole world.
I thought I knew what I had to do with my life. I started doing things my way, what I felt was right without giving a damn to anything else. I just loved programming and I neglected my electronics subjects to pursue software development. I became secluded, I kept quiet, didn?t listen to what others said to me. I started feeling condescending towards my friends and family.
I behaved like I didn?t care what they all thought. After my degree, when my family insisted to go for a job, I just told them I was going to start my own software development. Without any experience and resources I started my business had many setbacks.
I suffered a lot and made my family and friends suffer a lot mostly due to my uncompromising attitude. After two yrs the business is moving forward now and I am doing okay. Still I work alone.
Reconsideration
But those times were tough, not just for me but for my family. And I couldn?t understand that how a way of life, which was so pure and great can cause so much pain to me and those around me.
And then I realized the worst; I had begun living a life, which was as fake as the world I detested so much. I was hiding behind Roark?s immense figure and philosophy and I was doing unjustified things and was forcing my justifications by citing my individuality.
I was lying to myself. And after a while it dawned upon me that a great philosophy could be even misunderstood and misinterpreted with disastrous results.
What the Fountainhead teaches is not seclusion or a kind of detachment towards society. It just tells to live life according to our conscience and deny the ''Chalta Hai'' attitude.
There are many things in life that we think are right, but may not be able to do it. We don't become any less by falling prey to mediocrity or something we don?t believe. All of us are fallible and circumstances may be different for all of us, but we should acknowledge that we are fallible, that in spite of the many things we do, we may not do all of them the way they should have been done.
But the essence of the book lies in always being positive and acknowledging the correct ways and the good things. It's the process, the method we should work on and not the achievement.
Realization
After realizations and introspections I found myself more at ease with myself. I talked to my parents and my friends about how I felt, and now when I get bored reactions or discouraging statements, I don?t get frustrated by them or feel some kind of annoying boredom.
Now I try to look at the other person?s perspective and why he/she may have formed it. I find it is very easy when I look at everything as a mathematical function. Every act is causal.
People react and behave the way they do because of the experiences they had, their genetics and various other factors. But all have a reason. The concern of a lovable mother can be explained as accurately as the hatred of a sick psychopath. Both are just complex set of emotions and sensibility derived by their background and origin.
When we look at the mystery of life from this perspective we must also realize that we may be acting most of the time from our prejudices and egos. I analyzed that I may be behaving badly with everybody not only because they didn't follow my high ideals but also that I feared that I had led them down in some way.
And then I let it out and many other things. And I felt relieved and purified. Now I can see why people act the way they do including myself. Now I try to better myself each day, reason my attitude towards life and on the way even tell people about my experience. That's why I chose to write all this.
Conclusion
Many of you may give it a shrug, because not everybody goes through all this. Most of us never think about such things very seriously. But I must tell you however normal you may be, the next time you see an episode of some crap serial or give some sly remark to someone, thinking that its not a crime. Think again these are the drops of mediocre standards and giving up on integrity that fills the ocean of trite values and lack of morality all around us.
The Fountainhead tells us not to bow to mediocrity, be reasonable, understand emotions and not become a slave of it and it makes us honest to ourselves.
At last I will quote from the book ''Seven habits of effective people'' by Steven Covey.
'' All of us see the world through a lens which is unique to everyone. While u are seeing the world one should once in a while see the lens itself and understand how it changes our view of the world and how the experiences of this world reshape the lens itself''
P.S.
If I had not gone through all the phases of the 'Roark' effect, I may have never found the courage to write so freely about myself.
If any person finds this review to be too serious and stark, I assure you none of my reviews will ever be like this. The fun side of me will soon be back
