Groana. Review on Drona

I have not seen Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag so I can’t compare but I can confidently say that this is the worst movie of 2008. There....thats out of my system, now for the review.

Yesterday was Sunday and I had nothing to do. So I decided to catch Drona inspite of the bad reviews I had read on MS. I thought how bad a movie can be with actors like Jaya Bachchan, Abhishek, Priyanka and Kay Kay Menon.  After two and a half hours of pure torture I had my answer.

Story:-

Ha ha….okay if you really want to know, the movie starts with a Amar Chitra Katha kind of animation with Priyanka’s voice over telling the story of sagar manthan (really now!) and how the amrit that came out of it was given by the Gods to a king called Drona for safekeeping from asuras (and I thought the Devtas had distributed the amrit among themselves but clearly the makers of this movie have never heard of Vishnu avatar Mohini). The title of Drona was passed on from generation to generation of the King and the only aim of a Drona’s life was to protect the amrit from asuras (demons).

Cut to present day and real human beings – we find little Aditya (Abhishek) living with his nasty aunt and bullying cousin (Harry Potter anyone?). His only companion is a blue petal which hovers around him whenever he is depressed. Aditya grows up to be a morose young man. In another part of the world (please don’t ask where) there is an evil wizard Riz Rayzada who dreams of attaining the amrit and become immortal. One day Aditya and Riz come face to face and Riz realizes that Aditya is the ‘Drona’ who can lead him to the amrit. He sends his men to kidnap Aditya but he is saved by Sonia (a weirdly dressed Priyanka Chopra). She tells him about his real identity and takes him to India where his mother Jayati Devi (Jaya Bachchan) lives in a badly kept haveli. Jayati Devi takes us through another animation filled flashback where Riz had killed Aditya’s father and fearing for Aditya’s life Jayati Devi had sent him away to England to live in anonymity. When this flashback ends Riz turns up suddenly and turns Jayati Devi into a statue. From here follows a game of upmanship between Aditya and Riz to reach the amrit first.

Abhishek gives a new meaning to ‘sleepwalking through a role’. It seems that the director woke him up from a nap just before giving each shot. He looks sulky when he is supposed to look angry, constipated when he is supposed to look emotional, and when Priyanka gives him romantic looks he looks back at her as if he wants to wring her neck.

Priyanka looks good and tries hard. But the poor girl is given the weirdest of dresses to wear, made to break into a badly choreographed dance without any reason, and given the worst dialogues – picture this – in her introductory scene she beats up 4 goons single handedly and just when you start getting impressed she turns around and says “bauji kehte hain…….” Sigh!

Jaya Bachchan hams. This is the worst performance of her career. The only actor who is somewhat impressive is Kay Kay Menon. But again we are so used to brilliant performances from him that this one disappoints.

Whoever has directed this movie needs to retire right now. Also the storywriters. The story (ha!) is a mish mash of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings (check out the Gandalf like character who turns up out of nowhere for a two minute scene), and lots of our childhood fairy tales. In spite of all this I feel that this could have been an interesting movie in the hands of a capable director. But……well you just don’t feel for any character and that’s enough to kill any movie. The special effects are good but don’t impress as look of the movie is jaded when it should be glossy. The dialogues are bad. So is the music – a couple of songs are hummable but that’s it.

My Final Verdict:-

I have already mentioned that in my opinion this is the worst movie of the year. I wonder what everybody associated with it were thinking. The story doesn’t make sense in the first place - one wonders why the Devtas could not keep the amrit safe in heaven and depended on a human being to do it. Then we have a superhero who does not have any superpowers. Yes that’s right. The only extraordinary thing he can do is punch hard. That’s exciting when the hero is Sunny Deol, not when he is a bloated and unkept Abhishek Bachchan. On top of it all the actors give their career-worst performances. Please don’t go for this movie even if you get free tickets.

But even such movies have their advantages. Film schools across the country should most definitely keep Drona in their libraries and use it to teach their students how not to make a movie. Maybe future actors and directors will learn from it and we will see less of such garbage in future.