No Dhamaka in this Dhoom. Review on Dhoom - Bollywood

When I first saw the ads for Dhoom full of all those red hot bikes and hotter chases, I was sure that it was some kind of a fake. I was sure that soon those bikers would ride all the way to some rose field in Switzerland or some corn field in New Zealand and sing a few lovely songs. After all it?s a product of Yashraj Films - makers of films like Mujshe Shaadi Karoge, Hum Tum, Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi ? (and dare I mention the mother of them all - DDLJ ) - in which the only qs in the minds of the characters are Does he love me, Does she love me and Do I look good in this Manish Malhotra outfit??

So imagine my surprise when I discovered that the movie is not your typical Yashraj offering. But hold your horses, there is nothing great about it as well!!! Its just an excuse for the three studs to strike some macho poses , shoot some guns , swagger around and for the babes to put on a show for the viewers.

The movie opens with a group of 4 bikers robbing an armoured vehicle transporting cash. Their fifth partner is busy with his laptop sabotaging the traffic lights so that the police van following the vehicle is held up. Naturally there is a huge hue and cry and so we have ACP Jai Dixit (Abhishek Bachchan) come in to solve the crime and nab the biker group.

Now Jai is one of those filmi cops that is always dressed in denim duds and wears those long coats borrowed from Hollywood. Seriously does anyone in India even wear one of those things??? He is also a cop with an attitude; prone to rather terse conversations. He also has a bitchy, bossy wife at home Sweety (Rimi) who has a penchant for cooking up gajar-ka-halwa every now and then . She claims to be a doctor in a scene, but given her behaviour it is rather hard to believe that she is a person of science.

Well, in the process of rounding up all the bikers in the city, the police come across Ali (Uday Chopra), a bike mechanic cum aficionado. He also does some chota-mota illegal business in bikes thereby offering our Jai saab the perfect reason to ? as they say- have him by his balls!!

The biker gang is led by Kabir (John Abraham) and they moonlight as meek waiters at pizza hut when not out involved in some heist. No spoilers here, people. Involved in all this mess is a hot babe / dancer Sheena (super toned Esha) who appears out of no where and who has Ali eating out of her hand. All this leads to the inevitable confrontation between the cops and the thieves.

So does ACP Jai catch the thieving gang? What about his wife, does she die in a shootout??? What about Ali? What does he do? And who is this babe Sheena? And what about Kabir ? does he win the prize for best pizza delivery boy????

Well folks, I am not saying anything more. You?ll have to watch for yourselves. Nothing that we have not seen before. Just don?t get all worked up and run to the nearest theatres. Wait for sometime and your local cablewallah might put it on!!!!

Now onto the performances ? I really like Abhishek, he comes across as a nice guy in all his appearances. But he is still labouring under his father?s shadow and does not have his own style. Just not good enough. Uday Chopra starts off nicely, but manages to irritate the hell out of us by the end. John Abraham is still walking the ramp and reeling under the influence of all those crazy, psycho roles that he has been doing off late. The same swagger, the same faraway look, the same style of dialogue delivery. But he does look hot.

It is obvious Esha?s career is not really going great guns ? if you know what I mean. Wonder what Dharam Paaji thought of his daughter?s ?performance?? Otherwise, not much of an actor, she does not have anything much to do as well.

Music wise, the title song rocks and looks like the music director also recognized this, because the same piece plays in the background through out the movie. Other songs are just so so.

Looks like director Sanjay Ghadvi (Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi) has tried something new ? totally different from his previous work. But he forgets that thrillers should generally have a tight script and taut storyline. Just phookat ka stylebaazi is not going to get him anywhere.

The movie has plenty of stylistic flair going for it ? lots of hot bikes and chases and crazy screen placement. But the last heist and the climax fight above an 18 wheeler are a huge joke! Someone should tell the director that the matrix style of fighting is old and done now. Time to copy something new!!! And whats with all our pure virginal heroines turning vamp with a vengeance???

On the pro side, the movie is short ? just 2 and a quarter hours. The pace is relentless. There is no crappy Johnny Lever comedy track. And no unnecessary melodrama. Thank God for small mercies!!!

On the whole, just a 2/5. Your call now.