Divorce is not always a bad word. Review on Dealing with Divorce

I came from a home where my Mother and father fought, although it was verbal, they fought every night.  I lay in my bed and listened as he belittled my mother night after night.  I prayed that it would end; that some miracle would come along and make the unhappiness and tension all go away.  But it never did.

When I was a teenager, I met the man I would latter marry.  I actually married him on my eighteenth birthday which was the age in my state that someone could marry without a signature from a parent.  He was older than me, a good bit actually, and I thought I would finally have a peaceful and happy home.

The night after we married the abuse started.  But before I go into that, I would like to say that I probably would not have married had my father not been the kind of man he was.  If they had divorced life would have been financially hard, but at least it would have been happy.

The man I married was not a good man.  It turned out that lies were told, cheating was done and abuse was dished out on a regular basis at the hands of this man to me for over seven years. Once while I was pregnant he even went so far as loosening the lug nuts on both front wheels of my car, in hopes that I would wreck and be killed or at least loose the unborn child I was caring.  My Angels were watching me that day and I heard the sound of one of the wheels scrubbing the fender walls and stopped the car.  I did not have an accident and had a son, one that I love to this day.  One that once I conceived him, his natural father wanted aborted and even went so far as to tell me when and where it was to be done.  He told me that he had even made all the arrangements for it to take place.

I did not allow it to take place, and suffered greatly, but it did not matter, I kept what was to be my child. Because he turned his back on the child, never spent time with him, and tried to abuse him also.  One time even leaving a loaded hand gun where the small child could play with it while I was outside the house getting wood for the wood stove we used to heat the house.

I would get in between he and his father to stop the abuse.  It was a messy situation for sure and one I finally realized would not get any better.  That is when I typed my divorce.  Yes, money was tight, and in this state at the time a person could write their own divorce so I did.

I could not afford a lawyer, the man had taken all the money that I had as well as all of my self esteem.

I never looked back, I never questioned for a moment what I was doing, because of the turmoil that I suffered as a child, I was sure I wanted better for my son.

I remarried a few years later to a wonderful man that adopted my son in his heart and legally.  With the name change came a degree of healing as well as getting the biological father out of the picture entirely.

Would I do it all over again?  Most certainly if abuse is going on I would.  Abuse comes in all fashions, both mental and physical abuse hurts and hurts deeply.  With mental abuse the wounds and bruises do not show like they do with physical abuse.

The end of this month will mark our ninth year married and I expect many more.