::: The Greatest Sports Channel :::. Review on DD Sports

What is a sports channel? The one, which telecasts sports events, right? A few sports channels available to the Indian audience are Star Sports, Ten Sports and ESPN. But none of these sports channels are great. A great sports channel is one, which not only telecasts the sports events but also provides a few extra perks to the audience. And in this regard no one can beat DD Sports. It?s the greatest sports channel in the world, thanks to the following additional perquisites it gives to the viewers.

~ Student Friendly ~

As we all know, exams are going on. Therefore, all the attention of the students should be on their books (unless the student is as brilliant as Einstein or as hopeless as Tanmay, because in both the cases the result is quite predictable whether they study or not).

But the high voltage drama of Indo-Pak cricket during the exam season may bring adverse effects for an average student who can?t make up his mind on whether to study or enjoy cricket, and thus ends up doing nothing. But DD Sports is such a student friendly channel, that it leaves you with only one option i.e. the former.

Because, you can?t even think of enjoying cricket if it?s being telecasted on this channel. They try their level best to make it a torturous experience for the viewers by their pathetic television coverage so that eventually after 5-10 minutes of irritation students will get back to books and employees will get back to their work after switching off the television!

~ Increases Love Between Couples and Promotes Non-Violence ~

DD sports will make sure that you spend less time in watching cricket than you usually would have done otherwise. If you are an Indian middle class husband who wants to enjoy his whole Sunday by watching the cricket match, but are fed up of your wife?s rude remarks that you don?t have time for her and spent the whole time in watching each & every ball of the match.

Then you don?t have to worry if the match is telecasted on DD sports. You can proudly tell your wife, ?Darling, whatever you said isn?t true since DD sports doesn?t allow me to watch the first ball of the over. So, how can you say I watched each and every ball? Instead of watching the first ball I was too busy watching the Parag Saree commercial so that I could buy one for you.? And Lo your wife will be as happy as your honeymoon days.

Also, the channel is a great follower of Mahatma Gandhi?s ideals and believes in the principle of non-violence. So, don?t even think that you?ll be able to watch the live coverage if a batsman is injured and trying to get his breath back. The channel?s efficiency is so supreme in removing such scenes that it won?t even wait for the commentators to finish their sentence. You?ll be redirected to the commercials of bandage and dettol instead.

~ Decreases Unemployment In India & Promotes Feminism ~

This channel has taken an oath that no matter how low the standard of commentary is, yet it won?t hire foreign commentators. Being a government channel it knows its responsibility towards national interest. Thus, to decrease the unemployment level it hires Desi commentators like Arun Lal, Maninder Singh etc who do such a great job that even Jhonny Lever won?t be able to act so well as a leading hero of the movie.

If you haven?t seen circus ever in real life then this channel provides a live circus show for you as well named ?Fair And Lovely Fourth Umpire? (wow, what an extraordinary name). The ringmaster Charu Sharma makes the clowns dance on his tunes and do I need to mention, all the clowns are desi again! To promote feminism there is a female clown too named Roshni Chopra who tries her level best to imitate Mandira Bedi and look like her second cousin but fails miserably!

~ Old Is Gold Attitude, Promotes Nationalism & Sportsman Spirit ~

The channel believes in the ideology of ?Old Is Gold?, thus, when there are no cricket matches to telecast they show local Kabbadi and Badminton tournaments and that too from the 80?s. The teams involved are Indian and thus it?s promoting nationalism hugely by getting us to see these contests.

Also, if you want to see the real meaning of sportsmanship, I suggest you watch DD sports. There was a Sychronised Diving Competition. When the final team made the jump, the previous pair who had completed their jump was being telecast. The final pair went on to win the Gold medal and their dive was never shown. Now this is called sportsman spirit. Gives the losers due respect. Maybe India Idol could learn something from them, and give a prize to Amit Sana!

~ Brave and Patriotic ~

This channel is really brave! It was started to promote sports in India, so that a larger group of people who didn?t have access to cable tv could have a sports channel. As we know in Sarkari things bribe is always given from below the tables. But DD Sports is one channel, which was brave and bold enough to change the trends by asking for bribe openly when it was made a pay channel! Also, it?s very patriotic. It telecasts only those matches, which are played in India. It doesn?t like to travel to other nations for the coverage since its love for her motherland is so intense that it can?t part from her for even a while! Now you know from where Ashutosh Gowarikar got the inspiration to make Swades!

© Tanmay Singh, 2005