Jun 30, 2005 05:17 AM
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(Updated Jun 30, 2005 05:17 AM)
Nothing attracts the attention of people as much as sex. Bookshops report that catchy books on the subject sell like anything and more and more books are written on the subject than any other. Novels that titillate are bestsellers and great classics have no chance to compete with them. Confused youngsters fill their minds with stuff fed by Erotica and seek fulfillment of their libido through avenues and available opportunities. The TV too has contributed its share of fantasy building through suggestive dances, songs and vulgar display of the human body in all kinds of postures.
It has been noticed on MS that there are a few writers, most of them in their teens, who in the name of modernity throw decency to the winds and offend human sensibility by writing on the necessity of pre-marital sex and how thrilling the whole thing is and so on. There are also a few grown up guys who instead of upbraiding them, admire them for their boldness in writing on controversial issues; thus encouraging a new kind of mind set which will drag society to nothing but utter perdition. These “great” champions of modernism compare lifestyles in western countries and advocate that whatever is “right” there, is suitable in the Indian context. They argue that whatever is instinctual should be allowed to flourish. They ask stupid questions like “don’t you feel tempted to have sex with….”, then “go ahead and do it and …” little realizing what they are saying and what consequences their actions might lead to.
Lines of W.B. Yeats’ SECOND COMING come to mind.
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Though W. B. Yeats wrote this poem in another context, his lines apply to the present topic that I am writing on. “Falcon” stands for the misguided youth, “Falconer” is the voice of reason and experience. Images are borrowed from the sport of Falconry. In this sport the feathers of the falcon are trimmed by the Falconer or else the Falcon may fly too high and will not heed the commands of his master, the Falconer. The younger generation is slowly getting out of hand in India, at least in Urban areas. Wanting sexual freedom is one sure sign of it. As the lines of the poem tell us, things are going to fall apart as a result and the center(culture, traditions and civilizedness) is not able to sustain its hold. The result is that anarchy and blood dimmed tide(destruction of all good values and ethics) will be rampant and the ceremony of innocence(all things that go to promote harmonious living) will be destroyed. The best(the elder custodians of wisdom and knowledge) – like the elders in MS – lack all conviction and keep quiet while the worst(the practitioners and advocates of unbridled pre-marital sex) have a gala time in full passion.
No one would probably have thought that Yeats’ lines could be applied in this context. It is a measure of greatness of a poet if his lines have relevant applicability in different contexts of life.
People who want to ape the west should realize that the westerners led a life of values till late 60s. Then something went berserk and the decline started. Unbridled pre-marital sex, LTRs became the rage. Now a slow change is discernible among people at least in the U.S. Many want to get married before having sex. Counselors know this for a fact. A kind of guilt complex is enveloping the west and in a few decades a sea change will be witnessed.
Don’t ever think that sex is all just fun and more fun and greater fun. When two people have sex; something happens in them. In married people, sex is the natural expression of their mutual love and it is full of tenderness, a desire to please, fulfill and be fulfilled. In unmarried people, the concept is different. Uncontrolled libido, lack of commitment, uncertainty of the future all render it sordid, ugly and dirty and fill the participants with a lot of guilt and remorse. I know that it is true from the people whom I have counseled. A man who marries a woman who is not a virgin is always plagued with doubts about his wife and vice versa. Unable to withstand such dark, boding thoughts, such men make a bee-line to we counselors. We are able to help some; some serious cases need severe psychiatric treatment at great expense.
Therefore my advice to the young and upcoming generation in India is: Just as you would say NO to psychedelic drugs; say no to pre-marital sex. Your body is holy; it is not a cheap thing to be subjected to irreverent handling. Have some self respect. YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING; NOT AN ANIMAL TO BE FONDLED AND HANDLED. A BEAUTIFUL BLOOM IS MORE BEAUTIFUL IN A WELL TENDED GARDEN. SEX IS BEAUTIFUL SIMILARLY IN MARRIAGE. ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS, AND YOU SHALL BE HAPPY IN THE LONG RUN.
