Mobile and immobile :-(. Review on Choosing a Mobile Phone

Some wisecrack remarked 'the mobile fone is the only thing - the smaller the size, the bigger the man's ego!'

Snides apart, I accept, buying a mobile is only a shade easier than buying a private jet for yourself or lugging out a sunken ship from the deep seas.

There is an amazing array of these machines - different colors, different squeals (oops - I meant ring tones), functions et al.

Step 1:

Look out for the chargers; is it as small as the fone itself? or big and sinister looking like one of those mean machines out of matrix? dont wanna hire a couple of porters to carry your charger - isnt it?

Step 2:

Take a hard look at yourself in the mirror. Do you dress in impeccable suits, carry important-looking business cases, pop in and out of meetings by the hour?

Yes? grab one of those sleek and petite looking ones (i meant the fone).

If you slog it out all day on a battered scooty selling stuff (maybe vacuum cleaners?^&%!) or timeshares or jus chillin out (i mean huntin for a job), go for those heavy, non-frilly ones that come cheap. Remember, a good fone doesnt guarantee a good job eh! (ask me, I know!!)

Step 3:

Dont fall for that '2 year talk time', 'high strength battery' and other gimmicks - we aren't trekking to the northpole or heading up the Everest. Leave them to Tenzing and the other guy who clambered up with him!

Step 4:

Dont fall for that 'communicator' stuff with all of Bill Gates' stuff purportedly built-in to access your 'shares while having a shower',

'fax your boss from the airport' or 'mail your secretary from home'

Trust me, it doesnt work.

The last time I called my secretary from home, I ended up with a black eye and a bruised nose (courtesy my wife).

Step 5:

This is probably the best suggestion - give it a miss. Everyone's got one. The milkman, the railway gatekeeper, the friendly neighbourhood paanwaala. Put on your best smile, and ahem,. err, can I borrow.....?