My friend sobbed uncontrollably on my shoulder. She’d been crying for the last three or so hours and I’d tried everything to make her stop; from throwing water on her, to telling her that her make-up was smudged.(My friend is one of those rare people we call ‘over-materialistic.’) Well, if anything, doing those things just made her cry even more, so I finally decided to get to the root of the problem and asked her what was wrong.(Okay, I’m slow, I admit it!)
Moi: Anj honey, what’s the matter? Did one of your favourite shopping centres close down?
Anjie:(with evil stares) No…its not that. It’s something much worse.
Mir:(pretty worried by now) Er…seriously tell me what happened.
Anjie: Well, Rohit and I decided to go to ‘The Rose’(a restaurant) to celebrate our two week anniversary.(Did I mention she doesn’t stick with one guy for very long) And it was all going so well; we were having such a great time!
Mai: Okay…so what’s the problem?
Anjie: Then we gave each other our gifts; and I got him such a sweet ‘only yours’ locket and chain, as well as a cute teddy bear. And do you know what he got me?(Starts crying hysterically again)
Ich:(enthralled by the story) What?
Anjie: He got me…a…bottle of Slimfast(a drink used to make you slimmer, faster…not that Anjie actually needed it), and told me that this would prepare me for our prom this year and bring me down two sizes.
Me:(extremely scandalised) What did you do then?
Anjie: I ‘accidentally’ spilt my whole bowl of soup over his head, stomped on his foot and told him we were through.(Starts crying yet again)
Tell a girl she’s fat, you’ll get dumped. Tell a girl she’s ugly, you’ll get bashed. Give a girl the wrong present; you’ll get murdered!(lol…I’m kidding…we’re not that violent:P)
In a perfect world, the title of my review would be the truth, but obviously, this isn’t a perfect world, hence for a girl, ‘you’ for Christmas isn’t enough. Speaking from the experiences of my friends, if their boyfriends get them a rubbish present for whatever occasion, they are not happy bunnies and the ‘perfect day’ nearly always ends in fights, tears and ‘sorry’ cards. The saying “it’s the thought that counts” only applies when a thoughtful gift is given, therefore if a bouquet of flowers is given, it may melt her heart but it isn’t enough to win it.
Guy: Hey, can I phone you?
Girl: My number’s in the directory.
Guy: And your name?
Girl: That’s in the directory too!
A perfect day is the perfect way:
This is the one gift that always works. Every girl is different, so she has different tastes but obviously you’d know what your own girlfriend likes. If she’s into history and art, take her to some museums and art galleries, no matter how much you may detest them. If she loves movies and plays then take her to see her latest heartthrob’s film(even if you think he’s a total loser) or a beautiful musical(even if you’re tearing your hair out of boredom by the end of it.) If she’s fond of food, splurge out on an expensive meal, even if you’re eating bread and jam for the rest of the month. Chances are that you and your girlfriend will be totally different, but give some and take some, and you’ll both be happy. You give her a perfect day, she’ll give you a perfect day and you’ll live happily ever after!:-)
Guy: Will you dance with me?
Girl: No thank you.
Guy: Don’t thank moi, thank God that at least somebody asked you.
A song can never go wrong:
Have any of you heard the song; main shayar tho nahi, magar ae hasi, jab se dekha, maine tujhko mujhko, shayari aagayi? You could try singing her a song; either a beautiful love song, or one of her favourites or one that you’ve written yourself. But, if you sing like a toad, then I wouldn’t recommend singing in public, because you may get mistaken for an endangered species and captured. And if you know that you can’t write for toffee, then quote some lines from an existent song, or you may end up eating your words.
Guy: I think we’ve met somewhere before…
Girl: Yeah, that’s why I stopped going there!
Something personalised, will be the greatest surprise:
As I continuously say, human beings are THE most selfish species on Earth; which probably explains why we’re the dominant species. And your girlfriend is probably no exception.(Don’t bash me for it…it’s a proven fact.) Whether it’s a necklace with her name on it, a decorated plaque with a sweet message on it, or a photo of both of you in a pretty frame, she will love it because it’s especially for her, and it’s come straight from your heart(hopefully…don’t hire somebody to do it for you suspicious looks) This gift will always remind her of the wonderful moments spent avec you!:-)
Guy: Guys came into this world before girls, God made us first!
Girl: Yeah, because everyone makes a rough copy before the final masterpiece!
A handmade present, will be oh so pleasant(lol):
As above, this gift will be one that will always remind her of you, and your true love.(Suspicious stares again) Your girlfriend will love the fact that you took the trouble to make something for her, and as long as the thing you make(i.e. a jewellery box) is recognisable and won’t collapse the moment she touches it, I think she’ll love it! If you’re not too good with handiwork, then make a card for her and write a beautiful message on it, which will be enough to win her heart. And if you’re a good cook, then bake her a cake, or make her a tasty gourmet meal, which will also make her day!
Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or shall I walk past again?
Trust Chandra to be sentimental:
I had to end with a sentimental gift; the review wouldn’t be complete without it! If your girlfriend really cares about you, then she will want you to be happy, aakhir inki khushi aapki khushi main hai. You just have to show her that you love her and love to be with her, and your relationship will be complete. However much you may fight, every quarrel just makes you love her more.
And now everybody say “Awwwwwww!”:P
Merry Christmas Everyone!:-)
Don’t forget to RRC…:-)
R.P.S: Merci to the Hum Tum cartoon strips; the ladka ladki dialogues are taken from them!:-)
R.P.P.S: Dedicated to Aroo(arundhati90) for being so sweet and encouraging!:-)
