High Fashion meets Bollywood. Review on Boom

I had meant to write this review the day I saw this movie but decided to put it off for several reasons. To begin with, I got this movie as a Christmas present from my BF. He knows how much I love Hindi films & models so I was quite pleased... until I ACTUALLY saw the movie.

OMG. Where do I start? Well, it's not as bad as everybody says it was but it was FAR from good or original.

The movie opens with Indian Supermodel, Joey Matthews in the dressing room upset because Madhu Sapre was opening the fashion show instead of her. Madhu (Miss India 1992 & Miss Universe 1992 1st Runner Up) opens the show in a white Greek-inspired fitted tunic & as she goes up to the ramp, her arch rival Joey Matthews trips her on the catwalk. A catfight on the catwalk! How apropos. Shades of 'Eyes of Laura Mars' (1978) and one of Hollywood's many attempts to combine Drama & High Fashion. 'EOLM' bombed with the critics but it had acquired cult status among the fashionistas as a 70's 'Haute Couture' film noir.

Okay.. on with the catwalk catfight - As Madhu trips in slow motion, 20 diamonds fall out of her lovely head. Nevermind that we don't know WHY a model would wear diamonds inside her updo, let alone get in a catfight knowing that there are millions of dollars worth of diamonds hidden in her elaborately coiffed hair. This gets the girls in a fix so they confront Chote Miya, AKA Salim Ahmed played well by Gulshan Grover. The three models are given a warning to find the diamonds or else. The models hatch a plan to escape but as they were about to do so, a certain 'Boom Shankar' (Javed Jaffrey made to look gross but is actually really cute in real life) barges into their room, Pulp Fiction style. The shot in this frame was good. In fact, I cannot complain about the cinematography & music because at least those parts were A-Plus. The rest of the movie, however SUCKED.

Boom Shankar introduces our supermodels to Medium Miya AKA Abdul Wahab-something. Medium Miya is played by Jackie Shcroff who looks strangely drunk & high on drugs in some scenes. He sits on a desk while some woman underneath the table fellates him. How this scene relates to the entire movie is beyond me.

Word reaches Bade Miya (Amitabh Bachchan, what the hell are you doing in this movie?) that his diamonds are lost so the models are summoned to a meeting. The next scene is a fantasy sequence of what an old rich Indian man would be fantasizing about if he were in a room with three models and a secretary (Beautiful Zeenat Aman, Miss Asia Pacific 1970 & Bollywood icon of the 70's) that he once had an affair with.

There was also a small scene with Bo Derek emerging from the sea in a gold sari. All of 9 seconds was she filmed. Couldn't the Shroff's afford to pay her for more screen time? It looks as if that scene was shot in the beaches of LA & they copied & pasted it to make it look like it's Goa or something. Poor Bo. I guess being America's biggest sex symbol in 1979 doesn't hold that much weight if you're starring in C-Grade Bollywood movies.

All throughout the movie, we have the delightfully sinister Seema Biswas (Bandit Queen, Company, and Bhoot) as the wisecracking maid. She's a refreshing change from the stale & tired Johnny Lever but I'm concerned that Seema will be typecasted in these roles if she doesn't watch it. I liked her performance & Gulshan Grover's.

As for the three supermodels : Madhu Sapre is a decent enough actress but she is no Tabu. Katrina Kaif is the worst. Slap this girl at once! Yes, she has big breasts and is only 19 but so what? Padma Lakshmi *a real international supermodel, her BF is Salman Rushdie, she's on the Food Network, and was in another flop before this one except that one was an American film called 'Glitter' (2000) which was supposed to make a movie star out of Mariah Carrey but didn't. * ... back to Padma. She's the only one who can really catwalk, she's very New York in her walk & reminds me a bit of international supermodel Ujjwala Raut, India's most famous fashion export, next to the Sari. BTW, Padma can't act as well. No wonder she's had no Hollywood films since Glitter.

Still, all of this does not save the this garbage of a film. This movie reminds me a lot of Showgirls (1996) or Valley of the Dolls (1969). That movie was notorious for being a huge flop & is SO BAD that it's actually GOOD. Maybe Boom suffers the same fate as Showgirls? It's a film so terrible & ridiculous that its actually CAMPY. Oh, I did enjoy Seema, Gulshan, and when the girls were smoking pot from a bong while in a van, then they robbed a bank, I thought that part was awesome.

A lot has been said about models not being able to act. I disagree. Uma Thurman was a model before she became an Oscar nominated actress. Angelina Jolie was a model, as well before she won her Oscar for Best Supporting actress for 'Girl Interrupted' (1999). Ditto for Gwyneth Paltrow because she use to catwalk before her Oscar win. Being tall, skinny, and beautiful has absolutely nothing to do with one's acting ability or lack thereof.

Anyway, that's all for now. Now I gotta watch 'Footpath' & give you guys my review. Hope it's better than Boom.