Jul 05, 2004 07:44 AM
5961 Views
(Updated Jul 05, 2004 07:47 AM)
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Eight year old raped by uncle.
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Read the above sentence. Doesn't it sound familiar? Such are the kind of headlines we come across in the newspapers almost every other day. What is our reaction on reading such headlines? Shock? Anger? Sadness? Yeah, you may say so right now. But cross your heart and tell me - haven't most of us become indifferent to such headlines?
It's shameful that a nation which claims to be independent for more than half a century consists of people who are indifferent to sexual crimes. Yet, today, most of us have become accustomed to such events. Rape and other forms of sexual abuse take place every minute in India. While I am writing this. While you are reading this.
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Pedophilia - Sickening, Revolting & Traumatic
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Rape is one of the most heinous acts, but child abuse can be even more sickening. Sadly, Child Sexual Abuse i.e. CSA is rampant today, among all strata of the society. The act of pedophilia is extremely revolting as a child is being subject to sexual abuse - a child who may have no idea of what is happening, a child who has no means to defend himself if he knows what is being subjected to, a child whose days of innocence will be robbed away and whose life would be scarred with trauma.
While the general human community, and the Indian society in particular, are hypocrisy personified and refuse to acknowledge the alarming increase of instances of CSA, we have a journalist-cum-author who is bold enough to write on the act she herself was once subjected to - child sexual abuse.
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An Eye-Opener
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Pinki Virani's Bitter Chocolate is a shocking expose on how CSA is rampant in our society. This unique book discusses the different instances which can be classified as CSA, the mental trauma experienced by victims of different ages and the ways in which this trauma can be dealt with.
Bitter Chocolate, simply put, is extremely bitter. While one reads the book, one is bound to cringe at the levels man can stoop to. The perversion of the offenders and the hypocrisy of the silent witnesses in a number of the cases described by Virani disgusted me. Yet, the book remains a must-read as one simply cannot deny the existence of the problem.
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The Perverts & The Innocent
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The book reveals how in most cases, the offender is someone known to the family. It might be an uncle, a family friend, and in certain shocking cases, even the parent or grandparent. Children of both sexes face this problem and even infants are not spared. While some children are lucky enough not to have registered the experience and forget it in due course of time, others are haunted by it for the rest of their lives.
In a country where parents are hesitant of imparting sex-education to their child even until he/she enters his mid-teens, many victims of child abuse do not know the magnitude of the act their 'friendly' uncle is committing. The poor child does not understand the repercussions of somebody else fondling them 'there' and sadly, some children even assume that such acts are out of affection. In other cases, children are often threatened and the poor, innocent mind dares not complain, lest his allegations be not believed.
In rare cases, if the victim is nearing puberty, he may even enjoy the experience. At the tender age of 10-11, no child has any idea of the difference between right and wrong. It's this initial feeling of enjoyment which can produce guilt in the individual once he/she realises how wrong the deed was.
Guilt is the most common factor. And sadly, unless the society changes itself, it will continue to be a part of every CSA victims psyche. I have seen people who regard a CSA victim as filthy, as someone who has committed a crime himself. Such people, in my opinion, are even worse than the ones who abuse, in the first place. The victim must realise that the fault is not his/hers - whether the abuse was with his/her consent or not. What happened may have been wrong, but he/she himself/herself is not at fault.
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Painful
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Those who read only to be entertained are strictly advised to steer clear of this one. Bitter Chocolate is so straight-forward in its approach that the experience of reading it is extremely painful. It is with great difficulty that I managed to complete this one, and had to take plenty of breaks to unnerve myself. The book may shake you up, yet, since one cannot deny the existence of CSA, I would recommend the book to everyone since they can identify with the symptoms, be prepared for the consequences and get over the entire trauma of this sickening act.
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