Its 8:15 a.m. and I stand here in the bus stop waiting for the office bus to arrive. I stand here in the same manner as I did a few years back waiting for my college bus. Little did I know then that things would change so much ; the sky under which I am standing seems to be looking at me and smiling .. It is perhaps the only thingthat has acted as a witness .. watching the transformation of a loud and bubbly person into a quiet professional.
I wouldn't blame the professionalism for the change though. It isdestiny, or may be you could call it life. Yes Life, esoteric in thetrue sense, for one does not understand why you meet hundreds of peopleeveryday, work with so many, and still remain lonely.
I am now in one of the corner seats in the bus, looking out of thewindow watching people trying to catch up with "life" .. It's an hour'sjourney and the only company that I generally have is the chatter ofthe RJ. I seldom notice the person sitting next to me, for its going tobe yet another stranger or may be you could say another acquaintance.
It is annoying at times when the radio is switched off, not because Iam cut off from the melody but because I would now be thrust withthoughts of the solitary journey ahead.
I can't help thinking about the short bus journeys to college ... wellit's a paradox to call a distance of 30 KMs "short", but that is how italways seemed. A typical college day always begins in the bus with allthe familiar faces; you look forward for all your friends to get infrom the various stops, the reasonless giggles, the loud laughter thatwere stifled to avert the eyes of the lecturers and professors who
would watch on us as if we were their prospective prey for the day ...
well as I said it was a different life then. The pleasant memories of
college are in itself good enough to save me from the misery of the bus
journey.
I notice that it is time for me to get down and flash my smile ofacknowledgement to all the known strangers that I see as I approach mycubicle. A few of my colleagues greet me with their morning wishes andas always, we exchange our pleasantries. Discussions jump to theweekend plans and I wonder what I'd do over the weekend.
It would be just another day staring at the mobile, wishing it wouldring and bring back some wonderful moments that are now missing in lifeor maybe the safer option would be to come to office, for it's my newfounded asylum these days. A few years back, weekends or weekdaysdidn't matter to me, I was always busy. I always stood doubting theauthenticity of the wall clock that seemed to be in running too fast toperceive its movement. Alas, now it seems as though my clock is
suffering from some kind of paralytic attack.
There is a time in life, where one needs to go ahead, leaving behindyour friends and carrying along only memories. You do make new friends,but then you never get the old close ones ... you do meet people who'dbe so good to you that you could tell them anything and everything, butyou do not find a person to whom you needn't say things ... friends whojust know you. Occasional calls from such friends, have been the onlything that I seem to look forward to ...However, I cant help but notice
the uneasy pause that lingers around the conversation ..A pause notbecause of the relationship, but because it is too short a duration tosay everything, and of course you cannot completely rule out thepaucity of words!
As I sip coffee from the ubiquitous coffee mug, watching the drops ofrain, trickling down the tinted glass panes, veiling the scenic beautyoutside, I tell myself, may be there will be a day when things willchange, when life will offer a rewind, a recap of all the events and Ijust have to wait.
Capricious are the ways of life, for I know there would be many who'dbe able to empathize with me, ironically, even the dear ones that Imiss this moment, waiting perhaps...!!And I keep on waiting.....
