Sorry for the inconvenience, I think Menaka Gandhi didn’t like me using a Caged Lion :(
Ah! The tiles below my feet must be cursing me. My feet refused to budge anymore, my constant pacing must have caused them tiredness.
The gloomy air thickened with anticipation that something is going to happen. I couldn’t pinpoint the reason behind my restlessness. I nearly choked, when it dawned upon me, emotions and feelings that churned within me wanted an outlet. I have to let them go off, I can’t hold them prisoner any longer. I kept them trapped within me just like a caged lion. A lion pacing constantly inside the cage but ready to flee at the first opportunity he gets. How much can I fight myself? How long do I trap this lion within me? Endless debates with self, trying utmost to overcome my conflicting thoughts. So often I have conflicts with myself but I never reach a conclusion. Am I waiting for some Angel to guide me?
Anger simmering beneath the surface, I realize if not properly channelized may consume me. Nothing but the ashes will remain. Will I be satisfied by this? Do I want to scatter these ashes? Or do I want them to turn into Butterflies and Flowers?
The hurt and pain that were caused by those who claimed tobe my friends. If I let them surface, will I be just towards those who love and care for me. The people who are a source of comfort for me. Is it so easy to forget the pain? Will I be able to trust others? Oh! So many questions swarming around.
I think of the situations that caused bitterness in me. Should I let that bitterness spread into the lives of those who make my life sweeter. It is none of their fault, so why they have to tolerate this from me. This thought is, a sheer torture for me. I am at war with myself again!
The Dr Jerkyll and Mr Hyde in me, warring between themselves. The goodness finally won, the bad defeated. No the innocent shouldn’t have to bear the consequences of someone else’s wrong doings. They deserve a better attitude from me. The water that has already flown under the bridge will never return. The debris of my negativity has flown along the serpentine ribbon of grey, never to come back.
I suddenly feel free, and light hearted. My self introspection was successful, the light was shown in the right path, I realise that I have more powerful emotions and feelings like understanding, compassion and love. Why should I deprive the deserving ones when I have never ending positive emotions? Here you go my Caged Lion, finally I have set you free!!
This is dedicated to my Caged Lion, who has helped me become a better person. He has given a voice to my thoughts and I can share both my Positive and Negative Thoughts with him. Your Caged Lion need not be only Negativity, we tend to keep Positivity too within check.
