Mom it’s been quite sometime I had been wanting to write a letter to you. Just had no idea what could I write, but today after watching this beautiful movie “In the Land of Woman” I felt this strong emotion to write that I always wanted to tell you.
Ma I was always angry on you for the things that happened in my life, I always blamed you for every wrong thing that happened. I always thought had you been in my life these bad things wouldn’t have happened. I remember when I was 15 I was blamed for robbing rs. 60/- in the hostel, which I couldn’t take it. No matter how much I explained to the supervisor she wouldn’t listen and I was punished for something I never did. That night punishment wasn’t that hurting but the false blame. I remember crying whole night and thinking about you. I missed you then very much. That night was the first time I wrote a poem for You Ma. I have kept it like a treasure. That night I realized I could write too.
But as I was passing my teenager age and moving to be woman my life experiences told me a lot of things about you. Things that you did when you were of same age and I was blaming you for all that, but when I saw myself in similar situation I realized you weren’t wrong after all. You did exactly what I teenager would have done or a woman of that age. That’s when Ma I got to know you more. Time made me realize things about life and You especially. Whenever I was in a situation I always thought even Ma has gone through this, that time I felt very close to you Ma.
I very clearly remember it was my annual function and I had participated in dance, in the green room I saw all my friends mom helping their daughters dressing, while me standing quietly in corner waiting for someone to come and help me. I had tears rolling down, I really missed you Ma. All I wished at that time wish I was not there. Yes my friends saw that and immediately they asked their mothers to stop dressing them, and they all came and helped me in getting dressed. That was so beautiful.
There have been countless situation when I missed you, cried and wanted you by my side. When my heart was broken for the first time, when I got awards, when I bought my first bike(Pulsar 150cc), when I got my first tattoo, when I got laid off due to recession, and so many. Whenever till date I get any sort of compliment I always remember you, my instant reply is “ I inherited from my mom”. I have had people telling me to accept that you are not there, but Ma inspite of me accepting I still miss You. How can I not??? I know you will only miss something if you ever had it in the first place, I know that I have never seen you ………but does that justify that I shouldn’t be missing you. How fair is that??? I am human, I am just a woman, I will fall, learn and walk again.
Ma whenever I miss you I look up in the sky it kind of gives me feeling that you are watching over me, never leaving me even for a moment. I wish I could hold you once in my arm, just wrap around you like white cloud, feel assured of things, wish I could lay in your lap and listen you talking. One thing is sure Ma I would have been your friend rather daughter, I would have shared with you every little thing, because that’s the kind of person I am. I know you know me, you gave me birth. Today everyone looks at me and tell me I am replica of you right from looks to attitude towards life, we share same passion and hobbies. I feel so close to you.
Ma I love you very much and I miss You. I am waiting for that time when we would meet again. Promise me you would never leave me then.
Love You always,
Missing You,
Your sweetheart,
Babli.
