Hello all, I am back after many days, I think after many year just to share a sad and hard blog. "Yes, I have decided to disown my own brother".
I have this brother (younger one) aged 32, Manager in a firm. He never spoke to me for past 20 years. If so, just speaks, yes and no and that too with compulsion of my mother. Infact, he interacts very less with mother itself! We first thought he does this with everyone he knows, but no, he speaks a lots and spends a lots of time with friends and colleagues only but avoids us. For a day’s routine, he gets up 9 in morning, leaves for office by 10 am and only word he speaks to his mom is “Bye”. Then either comes back home at 7Pm, says “Hi” to mom, changes dress, eats somethings and then leaves to see friends to have some drinks party and returns back at 12 or 1 at night, or comes directly from office after we all have slept at 12 or 1, and mostly has visited friends directly after office hours, so we may think that he is working at office late nights! How we knew because he smells a lots of alcohol when he comes back.
We sleep at 11 PM usually and he never carries extra keys for doors and because of which Me or my mom has to keep awake till 1 AM until he returns. Even after several requests, he never got the habit of carrying the keys. My mom gets up at morning daily at 5:30 in morning and due to his late coming activity at night, though I tell her go and sleep, so that I could open the door for him, she never sleeps until he returns no matter how late it is. So technically, she sleeps only for 4.5 hours a day! And because of this her health has deteriorated, which he never cares, understands and realizes.
This habit was for once a month in beginning, then reduced to once a week, then thrice, twice and now almost daily.
Once we asked him, why he is doing like this, he never gave an justified reply and stays calm using his phone. And once aggressively said, “I am in huge tension, what would you know about me!”. Well that's why we wanted to speak with him and help him out. But he never responds us properly. My dad also did almost same thing, and we received him in a coffin one day. And now him.
And now over this, during this pandemic too, during night lockdowns and even full day lockdown, he leaves in night, comes back late, not caring that, he may get caught by police or may bring Corona infection at home and because of which my mom and I myself may get infected. We still smelled alcohol from him and even doesn't sanitize himself and keeps the worn mask inside him cupboard for later use! Most of time he eats outside food and wastes food prepared at home. We explained once this situation and from then, he locked the room in one of the room in our house and doesn't come out at all. Avoid us completely!
We have lots of problems in our family like my mom struggling alone without husband, I lost my job due to COVID and am unmarried at age of 35 and have many other family issues. But he never cares any of these and when asked him why you do this kind of activity daily and never involves in our own family issues, He says immaturely - my friends are facing lots of problem and I am solving theirs!
As a younger brother, he was given more relaxation and liberty, like he was the first to get a expensive bike right after schooling (A Pulsar 150) and then only I got that too a bike cheaper than him (Bajaj discover 125), he was given permissions to go wherever he wants with no questions asked, but I was never, etc, etc. But even too, he was bought a expensive car and I dont. But even after all this he acts as if injustice has been done to him!
If I don't have my loving mother too, I would walk away from him silently for ever and would not even come near him until my or his death. But by mom loves both of us like 2 sides of a coin and I too have to care about both mom and bother being an elder one. But he never cares me and only sometimes acts as if he cares for his mom!
His top priority is friends, office and money and never us!
But I have fought a lot to change him softly and harshly, many failed explanations, fails quarrels but nothing changed for last 20 years. In south here, a younger brother calls his elder brother “Anna” and I am very unlucky that I never heard such word from him ever in my life. But he calls his friend’s big brothers as Anna a lot!
This is just a part and there a lot more, if I have to explain, I may have to write a book!
So finally, since, he has no importance for me in his mind or heart or life, and as his activities have left our life shattered and incomplete, I have decided to disown him legally. I do not want such toxic person in my life who is even worse than a unknown road side vendor or beggar. My mom is against this, but I want to live my life to protect my mother from him legally and for this, this action is necessary with no other choice let.
If feel I am right, Please help me out with the procedures on how to disown him. So that I can legally take actions against him for all the curses he is doing to us. If you have any suggestions, please help me out on how to change him.
Also, Please share your suggestions and stories. If you have similar stories and similar situation, please share them.
Apologies, if you find this blog irrelevant and boring.
