Self assessment or self introspection is never an easy facility for anyone. That is probably why, the wisest of humanity have always insisted that everyone should be receptive of ‘criticism’ and ‘judgments’ of others as it helps in self assessment process. The great Kabir even prescribed to keep your critic sheltered near you(Nindak Niyare Rakhiye, Angan Kuti Chhaway…). That probably means, self is not always empowered enough to the task of self assessment…
… it is however, pertinent to add here in the same breath that in most cases, critics have lost the common sense, sanity and etiquette of healthy criticism and that is probably why most people are growingly averse to others judging you and criticizing you. This whole process of self assessment has therefore become a very cumbersome exercise. Naturally, very few in contemporary milieus accept the utility of critical communication.
The one line idea is, as the wise have said it too – ‘Speak truth but do not speak unpleasant truth(Satyam Bruyat, Priyam Bruyat, Na Bruyat Satyam Apriyam…)’. That is a pointer to the fact that human expression always needs the artistry of communication, which was never there in ideal shape but has lost the sanity almost completely.
We all need to learn and practice the art and science of speaking in dignified and amicable way, even when we are saying what we may deem as ‘Truth’…!
The cardinal truth about relativity must also be placed in mind, which says – ‘It does not take me to be wrong for you to be right and the vice versa…’
Then, there is another critical ‘truth’ about human relationship, which very few people see and accept. The cardinal rule is – ‘You first deposit in a bank account, then only you can withdraw anything. Nobody should run a zero account and be issued a no-limit Credit Card’. As average person says – You need to first love me enough to tell me why and where I am wrong’. This is no emotionalism; it is rather the pragmatism of the way our brain accepts utility and worth. We learn mostly from our father, mother, siblings, Guru and friends. They all have enough repository of amicability, before they criticize us…
It is truly a sad state of affairs in modern societies and cultures that people have ceased to see and accept the holism of a realism. Most people can only see and accept their rights but refuse to bear the onus and burden of duties. All love to fight for their rights of criticizing and judging others, even when their own self-worth is hugely dubious. Only handful has learnt and skillfully manages the duty of artistry of speaking amicably, with appropriate etiquette and sanity…
… that is probably why, love, intimacy, affection and compassion has become scarce in society and people have become animalistic in attitudes and behaviors…
… shayad, iski kuchh soorat badalni chahiye…!
