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Distorted Definitions

By: vaibhavi990 | Posted Mar 12, 2012 | General | 1301 Views | (Updated Mar 12, 2012 11:43 AM)

I’m presenting my version of “Distorted Definitions” which you’ll not find in conventional Dictionaries. These new definitions are the result of my unique brand of humor. :)


Movie buffs: I’d rather call these people “Forced Movie buffs”; means, since they have nothing else to do in their free time, they keep watching movies. It’s so easy! Just buy tickets, and sit in comfort for 2 hours. No effort and no creativity required. 90% of the movie buffs fall in this category except for the people actually involved in the movie business and the professional movie reviewers.


I don’t consider movie watching as a “hobby”. Hobby is an activity which teaches you something creative or valuable. For example, singing, dancing or even exercising. Movie watching is merely a pass time activity.


Romance: An excessively exaggerated version of love, which is supposed to be flaunted with the help of precious stones (diamonds) and other expensive outings such as dinners at posh restaurants, movie watching etc. Mainly inspired by movies! “Keeping Romance Alive” is a vital necessity not for married couples, but for owners of restaurants and coffee shops, movie producers, and diamond jewelers.


Women’s Magazines: Magazines with plentiful ads, in which, rich and anorexic women pose to sell international brands of lingerie, perfumes, and designer clothes. Editors of such magazines are under the assumption that apart from “What to eat”, “How to dress” and, “How to have sex”, women have no other business.


Marriages: Bankruptcy for the bride’s family and free party for the guests :)


Movie Stars: People who manage to look beautiful with the help of cosmetic surgeries and heavy make-up; having inflated egos and excessive money; and have right “contacts”.


Non Resident Indian (NRI): A financially and morally poor person who has embraced “Dollar” or “Pound” as God and hates everything “Indian” including himself/herself. Generally, suffers from an identity crisis and inferiority complex. Cannot be and should not be trusted.


That’s all for now. Feel free to share more such definitions, in case you have any.


Vaibhavi


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