Sitting at home and having nothing to do can be quite challenging. And then, some crazy ideas start popping in our head. We start asking questions like “What if…”. A few questions popped in my mind too.
Or, was it a midsummer night’s dream?
000-000-000
“Good morning, India! And welcome to the SOS News. My name is Carena Vidis. Today, we bring you the latest on Carona Virus.
The corona virus pandemic has been, so far, winning the battle. In fact, it has taken the entire world to ransom. We’re forced to give it the royal treatment it has been demanding.
It’s the Trojan Horse we didn’t know, that entered our body, until it was too late. And, these tiny warriors have found and opened the chinks in our armour for others to enter and play COVID with our immunity. We were too lazy, and drunk with our own infallibility, like the City of Troy. However, we have escalated the war against this unseen enemy and hopefully, unlike Troy, we shall win”.
Miss Carena Vidis presses a key and a song comes on…
“Honge kamiyab, honge kamiyab
Hum honge kamiyab ek din,
Ho ho ho mann mein hain vishwas, pura hain
Vishwas, honge hum kamiyab ek din…”
Suddenly, the song is interrupted by a flashing sign…
Breaking News!
“It’s not as if we humans are the only ones saddled with this pandemic, news is trickling in that there are problems in the germ world too”.
000-000-000
Deep in the netherworld of microscopic pathogens; the home of bacteria, viruses and other microorganisms, things were not looking good. Even acute life threatening agents like Cancer, Hanta Virus, Ebola, AIDS etc., were beginning to feel jittery of the new kid on the block.
000-000-000
“Our reporter says…
An emergency meeting was called for and held at the highly secured, fortress like, headquarters of ‘Free The World From Humans’ party. Cancy Onco, from the Cancer faction and General Secretary of the party, spoke at length about the new threat to their hegemony. The party has a presence in every country and, therefore, it is important to know what transpired in the meeting with regard to recent cataclysmic developments.
Mr Onco, in his opening address, opined that they should all remain united despite the factions in the core committee. He also spoke about the long haul that lay ahead. He requested all factions to bury the hatchet and join their RNAs and proteins to fight the new imposter who was threatening to take over the microbe world. He advised all party members to tune in to the macro world to understand the gravity of the problem facing them. He said the humans were panic-stricken and locked themselves in their houses. Nobody was taking liberties; they also adopted a strict regimen of hygiene and cleanliness. That, according to him, was bad business for the microbe world”.
“We thrive in filth, and the recent focus on purchase of hand sanitizers and house cleaning liquids by humans is driving us out of business”. “We can’t allow that to happen”, he stressed with authority.
000-000-000
Miss Carena Vidis, “We provide you with further specific details received just now through our mole, Mr Gene Marburg, and we believe they are authentic.
Here is rest of the transcript of the meeting…”
O00-000-000
Gun Chigun, from the Chikungunya faction, “Sh-t, where did this guy come from, how dare he usurp our territory?”
Jon Den, Dengue faction, “Oh, he jumped parole and hitchhiked from Wuhan”.
“How come, we didn’t know of this dude before”, asked Miss Mos Anophelia of the the Malaria(India) faction. “ Was our intelligence compromised?”
Mr Onco, “No, this guy is adept at disguises, first he appeared as SAARS, then as MERS and now as Carona or COVID.”
There was a collective gasp before an uneasy silence took over. All the members looked visibly shaken.
“How do we deal with this jerk, can’t we send some sharpshooters, maybe snipers, to liquidate this scumbag?” volunteered a confident looking Tubercool Rao of the Tuberculosis(India) faction, also a senior party member.
“No!” said Mr Onco, “Like I said before, he is good at disguises. Our intelligence says that he has many duplicates, as well. He also has access to 1200 WMDs, Protein Bombs, that could destroy the microbe world. So, one mistake could lead to a microbe world war, and we can’t afford that.”
Hiv Aiden, of the AIDS faction and President, “Mr Onco is spot on, we’re hiding with great difficulty from the humans. We must not give away our hideout, even if we have to bear the pain of drugs and chemicals dumped on us”.
Mr Onco’s heart surged with pride as he remarked, “In addition, people from my faction also have to bear the ignominy of Chemo and Radiation. It’s not something for the weak hearted”. He never lost an opportunity to inform the committee of the sacrifices they had made.
“The way the humans are seized with a fear psychosis, I fear they could do something covidiotic and direct their war against us instead of this duffer”; said an enfeebled Scrach Luper representing the almost defunct Leprosy faction.
It was a genuine concern and the old Luper knew a lot more about human behaviour. He was also a highly frustrated relic from the middle ages. He never forgot the fact that if it hadn’t been for a certain Jesus Christ, his faction would have been all powerful and he could have been elected the party general secretary. Now, all his supporters do is scratch.
The atmosphere in the hall was filled with trepidation, but there was also an eerie silence. All the members were lost in their own thoughts. After an eternity of self-introspection, someone dared to speak.
Histos Enteb, head of the ‘Bloody’ Diarrhoea faction and reeking of stale blood croaked, “Why can’t we wait in ambush until this douchebag enters the human body, and then attack him from all fronts?”
Mr Onco, displaying his great knowledge and capabilities, which was one of the reasons why he was successful in clinging to the all-important post, negated the suggestion “Mr RNA Covid, I believe that is his real name, has trained his followers to enter the nasal passage and immediately occupy the lungs. There, they sit in hiding and multiply and build up an army before they are ready to strike. By the time we realise, it’s too late for us to besiege his bastion. All we can do is sit and pray, this guy can infect humans at an alarming rate”.
Clostros Bots, Vice President FTWFH and also Gen. Secretary of ‘Anti Human Party’ and belonging to the Botulism faction, is a ‘bacter’ who loves isolation and solitude. He seldom speaks, unless there is something worth speaking about. He had been observing the proceedings with a sense of detachment only he could summon. At last he spoke.
“Why do we have to fight this guy and his legion of followers?” He said. “Really, we don’t need to. The humans are doing a good enough job. They are using up all their resources in their war against this Covid bloke. It looks like they’ll succeed in the long run. That’s good for us too, in the meantime, we can lie low and continue to add to our stockpile of weapons. We also need to develop a reliable defence against the Protein Bomb. After the battle drags on for a year or two, both the parties will be weak and lacking in resources. That will be the time for us to grab the situation to our advantage. If this guy is smart, as I think he is, he will surrender and forced to join our party. Additionally, we can dangle a carrot for him to take the bait, we can offer him the post of Party Spokesgerm”.
“In my opinion, it is good for our business to have him on our side rather than have him working against us”. Saying this, Clostros Bots took a deep breath and slowly sat down in his aluminium can.
The entire committee was struck by the simplicity and clarity of thought. They were wondering why it didn’t occur to them before.
Cancy Onco sprang to the dais and without further ado seconded the proposal. “Has anyone any objections to this brilliant idea?” he roared. All the members stood up in unison and kept on applauding. Cancy Onco took that as a unanimous approval and the motion was passed 121 to nil.
The satellite link from Gene Marburg was lost as he quietly and surreptitiously slithered away from his vantage position moving out with a sense of pride that was not misplaced. He had done his job, now, it was left for us humans to take the war to the nether world of microbes. However, first we had to deal with the immediate job on hand - COVID 19.
Miss Carena Vidis was back on the screen, her face radiant as the morning Sun. She knew it was one of the most important scoops of her ten year career, and she was working non-stop for the last 14 days to get this scoop, if everything went right, she could get a substantial raise.
“This is the SOS News, this was an exclusive scoop we brought to you. Please stay tuned for further updates… and now, the headlines…”
As she was reading out the headlines, she felt a tightness in her throat that wasn’t there a few moments ago. The itching in her throat too was growing… and then, came the first of many coughs. All at once, pandemonium broke loose.
000-000-000
In the pandemonium, I could discern a continuous beeping sound, it kept growing like the horn of a car approaching me. I was groping in the dark to locate the source of the sound, which was now more like ringing. I found something, the ringing stopped. I feebly opened my eyes, my hand was holding a table clock and my forefinger on the alarm off button.
mbfarookh ©
